Okay! Next item! Angelina Jolie and Robin Williams (a.k.a. "Lips" and "Wrinkles") are in town filming a movie called Life, Or Something Like It. Now, I must say I'm disappointed that so few of you have taken the time to send me your Robin ("Wrinkles") and Angelina ("Lips") sightings. I can only assume this is because no one has actually seen them yet. This is good! Now I can prepare you for the magical moment when you actually DO stumble across them! My coaching will save you from humiliating yourself--and prepare you to do a public service at the same time! Ready?
Wrinkles: Take a deep breath. Look Wrinkles directly in the eye. Tell Wrinkles that you loved his wacky antics on Mork and Mindy. Then, when he is all glowy from your praise and open to suggestions, explain that, although he is an American Legend, he has lately become a schlocky, sentimental mess. Then beg Wrinkles to stop making movies!
Lips: Breathe. Look her directly in the lips. Assure her that although you simply love her lips, her Oscar was a fluke, and kissing her brother is gross. Beg Lips to stop making movies!
Last item! A nice man named Jimmy was VERY excited to see Nirvana's KRIST NOVOSELIC at Le Voyeur in Olympia. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Krist N. sightings are more common around here than small blond women driving SUVs. Thanks for writing, Jimmy.