A Curley Tale: I just can't fathom it! John Curley's lovable shenanigans on King 5's Evening Magazine just make me wanna hug the stuffin' right out of him! Don't you agree? Then why--WHY, I ask!--has the perky little darlin' been suspended from the show WITHOUT PAY for the SECOND TIME in three months?Mum's the word officially: Station employees have been warned not to leak any details to the media in general, and ME in particular. But my exclusive, top-secret "don't-ask-cuz-I-ain't-gonna-tell-ya" sources say it's because poor Johnny SNAPPED and pitched yet another scandalous fit on set! One question stands: WHAT could possibly be causing this walking, talking ray of sunshine, this SAINT of local broadcasting, so much emotional distress that he would raise his sweet voice? And more importantly, what can WE, as true, dyed-in-the-wool Johnny C. lovers do to help? Babysit? A foot massage? Adjust his dosage? Let us in Johnny! We're HERE for you!

Dyke-O-Riffic: The crème de la crème of carpet-munchers have been turning out in spades to watch the hoop-shootin' honeys of Seattle Storm. Spotted at the first game of the season: Colonel Grethe Cammermeyer wandering around the hallways before the game, possibly waiting for girlfriend Diane to get out of the can, and Tina "still rich enough to afford courtside seats" Podlodowski on the arm of a small (imagine!), short-haired (IMAGINE!) woman who looked "quite a bit younger" than the cradle-robbing former city council member. Hmmmmm....

Food of the Gods: A few weeks back I left you hanging. A whole flock of famous types are coming to town, and I didn't give you one measly clue where to spot them! Shame on me! Well, try downtown's priciest diner, Wild Ginger, home of the World Famous Fragrant Duck. In just the last few weeks: Kiefer Sutherland, Tom Arnold, A-Rod, Sandra Bernhard, Dyan Cannon (whose lips were "BIGGER than the World Famous Fragrant Duck"), hell, even Kenny G has blown in for a humbao.

Spotted: Finally, Patrick Duffy was seen at the opening night of NWAAT's Porcelain (I sat right behind the ex-Man from Atlantis/ Dallas star and spent the entire show craning and straining to see around his ENORMOUS HEAD. Get me off EASTER ISLAND!), Krist Novoselic and Kim Thayil were seen chowing on eggplant focaccia at the Fremont PCC, and Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe were seen together at Pike Place Market, arm-in-arm, forever putting to rest rumors that they are actually the same person.

celebisawu@thestranger.com