Two things frighten me: giant tarantulas laying eggs in my face, and Rose McGowan. I used to take comfort in the knowledge that giant arachnids live only in places like Africa, and that the possibility of ever crossing paths with the She-Satan of B-grade teenybopper flicks was pretty darn slim. I mean, I don't worship the devil (anymore), and I don't shop at Hot Topic (anymore). And besides, doesn't Rose live down in L.A. with the rest of the bloodsucking damned?But I'm beginning to worry. Twice now, the evil known as Rose has been spotted slithering 'round my 'hood! First she was spotted at a Capitol Hill QFC, and there she was again last Saturday, giving "disgusted" looks to frightened folks in Belltown! So what brings Rose's crusade of darkness to Seattle? I've discovered that Rose has roots in these parts--she attended art school here, and was even known to slum around Capitol Hill's queer clubs long before she shacked up with Marilyn Manson and became queen of the killer cheerleader movies. So hang a ring of garlic by your door and say your prayers--she could appear anywhere, anytime!

Boy, do I suck! After last week's item concerning the alleged snootiness of chanteuse Neko Case, I was practically COATED with phone calls and e-mails swearing to sweet baby Jesus that our lady Neko is far from a tantrum-throwing diva. Turns out Neko has had on-again, off-again problems with overzealous fans (i.e. stalkers), and any of her behavior that might possibly be construed as diva-esque comes only from a reas- onable place of self-protection. Apologies to the divine Ms. Case.

Next we come to a question that has puzzled phil- osophers for seconds: Are "reality TV" people real celebrities? I'm beginning to think so. I've received a gazillion sightings of Nick Brown (who?) from the second season of Survivor, yet haven't heard a single PEEP about THE Miss Janet Jackson, who visited a full three weeks ago! Is this glorified game-show contestant actually more notable than THE Janet Jackson? Or is someone seriously holding out on me? SOMEBODY must've seen Ms. Jackson doing SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE! Whoever you are: Mosey your little ass over to the computer, type out a detailed description, and send it to me, dammit!! Do it NOW!