Maybe it's raging megalomania, or just an out-of-control ego, but sometimes I just can't help but feel that I've tapped into some freaky cosmic power! For instance? WELL! JUST this morning I was thinking, "My goodness! What the heck ever became of that lovable Tom Skerritt? Last I heard he was hawking free samples of his private microbrew label "White Stag" table-to-table at the Kingfish Cafe--but that was almost a year ago!" And then? I check my messages, and guess who was spotted chatting up a pretty redhead over cappuccino at the Hi-Spot in Madrona? None other than the star of Poltergeist III and Advil commercials Tom Skerritt!!!! Can you believe it?!

Now this is just plain weird: As everyone knows, there are two things I am simply OBSESSED with: John Fluevog shoes and two-time Oscar winner Sally Field. Well, JUST today I was OVERWHELMED with the urge to skip lunch and go shopping for Fluevogs. This thought had no sooner entered my pretty little head when I heard that Sally Field was seen at (ready?) John Fluevog Shoes! She was peeking in the window, and the sales crew tried to entice her inside, but she politely declined! Now is that some SPOOKY shit or what?

Fine. Maybe I DON'T have awesome psychic powers. But you know who does? Miss Cleo, that's who! I don't have any firsthand knowledge of Cleo's psychic prowess, but Lindsay Brien from Real World: Seattle is featured in Cleo's latest TV ad (it was filmed in the studios of Q100 FM in Atlanta, where Lindsay's working these days as a co-host), and she claims that Miss C. is a genuine, bona fide, sooth-saying wonder! "Adrian, Miss Cleo was amazing!" she tells me. "I've always been skeptical, but she nailed things that would've been impossible to know unless you were a psychic!" I just don't have the heart to tell the poor girl that David Schmader reported back in July that the tarot-shuffling huckster is an actress who went to school in the Northwest, and is about as Jamaican as my Aunt Fanny. But this doesn't mean she doesn't possess phenomenal supernatural power--it just means that she's a working actress who probably got an "F" in Caribbean Accents. Well, who DEFINITELY got an "F" in Caribbean Accents.

celebisawu@thestranger.com