But what lies behind my stalwart anti-Chris stance? Please. As if I haven't been wearing my heart upon my gossamer-thin sleeve for a certain crushingly handsome former-Real Worlder. And since the collective voice of the world is simply CRYING OUT for yours truly to do a one-on-one INTERVIEW with said crushingly gorgeous ex-Worlder, it'd be best if I didn't immediately shine him on for some fresh face, now wouldn't it? (Besides, the new cast freaks me out. Think "the WB meets Valley of the Dolls." Home eyebrow waxing kits should DEFINITELY come with warning labels.) And since "DFHayes" recently cornered lovely Danny at her place of business, and since he told her that he READS this column and is FULLY AWARE of my widely published crush on him, I figured that THIS would be the perfect place to passive-aggressively request said interview! So, whaddaya say, Danny boy? You man enough to go head to head with THE ADRIAN? Grrrrrrruf! Ruff!
One last note about Real World Chicago: That brainless, homophobic cow from Walla Walla needs to be thoroughly slapped. Irene-style!
Meanwhile, back in the real real world: Newsboys are in the news, with KCPQ-tie Scott Engler bailing town for a far more glamorous gig in NYC. I can honestly say I'll miss Mr. Engler, who accepted the occasional friendly jibe with grace and good humor (unlike that Leslie Miller, who threatens to sue at the drop of an innuendo). "PattyB" wrote to ask about the recent disappearance of Q13's cherubic reporter Ron Corning--he's fled Seattle to host a reality-based pilot for NBC!
Finally.... let me remind everyone that Valentine's Day is coming faster than a coked-up porn star. What better way to say "Baby, I'm hot for your squeeze cheese" than a FREE valentine in this very paper? Exactly! So send your most secret message of desire to love@thestranger.com, and this here paper will publish your valentine FREE OF CHARGE in our annual VD issue, which hits the stands February 7.
