Friends: Aren't they SPECIAL? Of course they are. Take my friend Tory. Tory and I have been closer than two nuts in a nutsack since God was going to Sunday School. So, here I've been running on for WEEKS about my adulation for goddess du jour Lisa Kudrow, when my "close friend" Tory offers, VERY offhandedly and VERY after-the-fact, that he had supped elbow-to-elbow with Her Fabulousness at Toi (that upstartish little café where the old Dahlia Lounge once lived) when she was in town for Conan O'Brien's nuptials. When I'd recovered from my cerebral hemorrhage, I politely inquired as to what POSSIBLE explanation my "close friend" could have for withholding this little factoid from me for four bloody weeks! His response? "I just didn't think about it."

He's dead now.

Tossing MY two pennies in: First we have marathon closet case Rosie O'Donnell making a bombastically dykish guest appearance on the January 31 episode of Will & Grace, the Manray of all sitcoms. Then last week Matt Damon made a desperately overcompensatory appearance as a would-be choirboy on the same show (Yo! I'm just a straight dude tryin' to make it in this world of fags, g-dog! Yo, yo!). So somebody help me out here... is it sweeps week or National Coming Out Month? And just exactly when is Justin Timberlake scheduled to be on?

Speaking of tele-queers: Having been quickly voted off the list of contenders on ABC's weak reality-show offering The Mole, scrappy, nappy, and thankfully out lesbian Jennifer Biondi killed some trees, supported sweatshop child labor, and crushed any sense of her individuality by shopping at the downtown Old Navy. Yay for her. Thanks to Krista for the sighting.

Last week, former Stranger/current Weekly theater writer Steve Wiecking cornered me at Linda's Tavern to report that Christian Slater had been spotted at Hana Japanese restaurant on Broadway. "Why would Christian Slater eat at Hana?" Steve mused. "I only eat there when I'm really, really broke."


The last anyone heard from R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck, he was being prosecuted by the British government for allegedly pitching a decidedly unshiny, unhappy fit on a British Airways flight (he was officially charged with assault and--gasp!--breaking precious airline crockery). Well, a kinder, gentler Peter was spotted waiting to cross Roanoke with his two delightful children on Capitol Hill. He was reportedly the very PICTURE of patience and forbearance, and no dishes were harmed during this sighting.