Tell me about yourself.

Like a lot of bubble teas, I am sweetened black tea shaken in a cocktail shaker with milk or a milk substitute, or blended with ice. I can be made hot or cold, and I come in all flavors—including green tea, fruit flavors from lychee to strawberry, chocolate, caramel, etc.

What makes you more delicious than other bubble teas, Chatterbox Milk Tea?

Some are a bit heavy-handed with the sweetener or fruit syrup, which makes them taste like a fruity Asian Big Gulp. I, however, taste like a mild blend of graham crackers and honey.

What are the origins of bubble tea?

Taiwan, but I am toasted everywhere now.

What are the bubbles in bubble tea?

You're probably thinking of the tapioca pearls, which are generally the size of a house cat's eyeball and are traditionally made from boiled cassava root, but can be formed by pressing and cubing (or pearling) various fruit jellies, such as coconut jelly. However, the name actually refers to the bubbles that appear on the surface when you shake the drink, not the pearls at the bottom. Also, bubble tea can be ordered without tapioca pearls.

What is the best way to enjoy you?

With a comically oversized straw.