520 Second Ave W, 282-3004
So you're a snitter [$2.50] from Nielsen's Pastries. I must admit, I've never seen a snitter. You look much different than I expected. I thought I was going to be interviewing either a villain from a Dr. Seuss book or some kind of exotic parasite.
As you can see, I'm actually a pastry. I doubt you'll find an exotic parasite with as much tasty cinnamon and sugar on it as I have on me.
Well, maybe not when I found it, but I could... Anyway, cinnamon and sugar—are you a cinnamon roll?
I am a cinnamon roll that has been sliced open, flattened out, and baked with a stripe of custard. I am sliced lengthwise so there is a piece of the coveted cinnamon-roll middle in every bite.
The middle? With custard? I feel faint.
That's understandable. Many people swoon when they learn of my existence—that's what those armchairs in the corner are for. Perhaps a latte will revive you. During Nielsen's happy hour [Mon–Fri, 2:30–3:30 pm], you get a free pastry if you buy an espresso drink!
What does a distinguished pastry such as yourself do in its leisure time?
I've been going on fancy dates with Nielsen's hot soups, lately curry lentil. Then there are the parties in the pastry case after-hours. On Sunday, I woke up wedged behind the espresso machine. You see, it's very hard to hail a cab from inside a pastry case.
Oh, believe me, I know. Does Nielsen's have any other savory foods besides soup?
Perhaps you'd like a sandwich—herbed turkey and provolone [$5.75] or egg salad [$5]. If you're not too set on savory things, it might interest you to know that you can buy snitters by the dozen [$27.50], and we come in an adorable pink box.