SATURDAY 12/31

Here are two shows for people who feel like ringing in the New Year with booze, booze, booze, and a side of laughter. (Disclaimer: Laughter not guaranteed.)

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TY BARNETT

Ty Barnett got his start at Seattle's Comedy Underground but can currently be seen as the new body in Axe body wash ads. Here's how his Comedy Central standup profile opens: "Ty realized for the first time that being black was going to be an issue when the doctor slapped him... twice... and made him cut his own umbilical cord!"

Sample joke: "I'm glad gas prices are high—drive-by shootings have decreased." Tacoma Comedy Underground, 8:30 and 10:30 pm, $25 early show/$15 late show, 21+.

DWIGHT SLADE

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Dwight Slade—a sometimes Portland, Oregon, resident—is best known for being friends with comedian Bill Hicks and earning a five-star review from Scotland's minister of culture at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (the prestige equivalent of two Axe body wash commercials). Here's how his Comedy Central standup profile opens: "Despite his impossibly youthful appearance, Dwight Slade is a comedy veteran of twenty years." Slade then goes on to describe his early career as an indentured child servant of the comedy circuit.

Slade's show promises to deliver complimentary champagne, party favors, and jokes like this: "What happened to good names? You tell me, in the last five years, anybody who's been introduced to a baby named Larry. Bring me baby Larry. Show me a baby Glen. Who are we gonna borrow tools from in the future?" Laughs Comedy Spot, 7 and 10 pm, $25–$54, 18+ early show/21+ late show.