What would you ask yourself if you were me and I were you and you were interviewing me (you)?

Where did you (me) put the garage-door opener? I (you) need it.

Who are you?

My name is Kumail Nanjiani. I am a comedian who is visiting Seattle to perform standup comedy at Chop Suey on Wednesday, July 20, at 9:00 p.m.

Why are we here?

We are here because a star supernovaed billions of years ago and a piece of matter settled where earth now exists and it spun around at high speeds as hot gas and slowly cooled over millions of years and formed this planet and it just happened to be able to support life and now I am performing standup comedy in Seattle on Wednesday, July 20, at 9:00 p.m.

Where do jokes come from?

For me, jokes come from anything but comedy. They come from going out and doing things and going on hikes and riding buses and trying new ice cream flavors no matter how crazy they sound. Oh, and from horror movies and video games I really like. Jokes come from personal experience and the ability to bridge them to other people's experiences.

What does Mark-Paul Gosselaar (your costar on the TNT original series Franklin & Bash) smell like?

Cherries.

Describe your comedy in 20 words or less.

I tear down people's illusions about the social construct known as reality. Which means jokes about horror movies and videogames.

Describe your comedy in seven words or less.

I talk about horror movies and videogames.

Describe your comedy in three words or less.

Horrormovies and videogames.

Describe your comedy in one word or less.

Horrormoviesandvideogames.

Describe your comedy in one letter or less.

$.

Kumail Nanjiani peforms Wed June 20, Chop Suey, 8:30 pm, $10, 21+.