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A Goddamned Brand New Vespa

A wonderful, beautiful, shiny new Vespa with all the trimmings, courtesy of Vespa Seattle. The package includes one sky-blue Vespa LX 50 cc model, shipping, set-up and prep, plates, tabs, and license fees, two Vespa Soft Touch helmets, two riding jackets, shoulder bags by Chrome, a front rack, and more! The winner is legally obligated to pay vehicle sales tax! (Good-looking passenger not—necessarily—included.) Valued at more than $5,198.45! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Get Out of Town #1: Doe Bay

Give nine of your closest friends the gift of a blowout party in the woods with this dream package, which includes three nights in a fantastic cabin on beautiful Orcas Island, a $100 voucher for meals in the Doe Bay Cafe (and 25 percent off more food), plus a keg of beer, courtesy of Mac & Jack's! Holy Moses! Valued at over $1,200! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Get Out of Town #2: Portland

There's no better faux-escape than a weekend in Portland, and the winner of this package will receive two nights at the stylish Jupiter Hotel (imagine mod meets hunting lodge meets David Lynch), two tickets to a show at the next-door Doug Fir Lounge, and restaurant gift certificates to feed your face! Valued at over $300! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Get Out of Town #3: Portland Part Deux

More gift certificates to fine Portland eateries, plus a two-night stay at the stylish and spankin'-new Ace Hotel. PLUS a basket of sexy goodies from Lovers! A $400 value! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Come Sail Away with Me

An hourlong tour for 10 on an electric boat, courtesy of the Electric Boat Company. Plus Come Sail Away: The Styx Anthology. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Pretty, Tough

Knock 'em dead with a free cut, color, and one-hour massage at Vanity Salon and Spa, then knock 'em flat with five boxing classes and one pair of hand wraps, courtesy of Cappy's on Union Boxing Gym. A $175 value! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Work Up an Appetite #1

Two hours of kayaking and dinner for two at Agua Verde on scenic Lake Washington. A $90 value! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Work Up an Appetite #2

A two-person kayak rental from the Northwest Outdoor Center on Lake Union and a $50 gift certificate to Gordito's Healthy Mexican Food. A $101 value! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Dancing Queen

Glide like Ginger with one session of dance classes for two (salsa, swing, tango, and more!) at Century Ballroom, plus two guest passes to Love Lessons, the Century's new cabaret! This blowout package also includes two free classes at Velocity Dance Center, tickets to the new D9 Dance Collective show in April, and an hour's private lesson for two at Pole for the Soul, Seattle's premier pole-dancing studio! Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Party Like Paris Hilton

Jump the line, skip the cover, and head straight to Venom's VIP booth, where you and 15 friends will knock back a complimentary bottle of champagne. Plus, goodies, including a Hello Kitty dog-carrier bag from Railey's Leash & Treat, and a 14-carat-gold belly ring courtesy of Wyatt's Jewelers. A $300+ value! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Party Like a Middle-Class Homeowner

Crowd up to 50 of your best friends (30 if you want them to sit) into the mezzanine at Mission with 50-cent Pabst drafts (for the duration of the booking or until the keg is empty). Enjoy couches, a private bar, and a 42-inch plasma TV with DVD and HD cable. (Offer good Sun-Thurs between 5 pm and 2 am, book at least four weeks in advance.) Valued at $400! Opening bid: $1.99!

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