People ask me some odd questions. I got a note the other day in which the writer talked about doing BDSM online, and then said, "I had this thought—what if this was real, and this fellow dropped dead? That leads me to this question: In your business, do you have things like an emergency defibrillator and other high-end first-aid items for accidents such as this?"
A defibrillator? Are you serious? Hell no, I don't have such a thing. I know they're putting them up on the walls of public places now, but I don't have the training to use that device. I have butterfly bandages, cold packs, and Neosporin in my first-aid kit, and I try extremely hard to avoid having to use them. Thus far, my efforts have been successful.
That's not to say I don't think about what would happen if someone had a heart attack or something similar while in my space. I have a lot of clients who are older, and some who aren't in the best of health. I'm extra careful with those men, but in spite of my best efforts, occasionally they do give me a scare.
One sweet man, who falls into the older/health-concerns category, came to see me one afternoon, and when I let him in I noticed that he looked pale and a little shaky. We sat down on the couch and I looked at him again. Definitely something not right here, I thought.
"Honey, do you feel okay? Because you don't look so good."
"Oh, I'm fine.... Well, maybe I'm just a little dizzy."
"Dizzy? Lie down. Lie down on the couch, right now. When did you eat last?"
He sank back onto the pillows, ashy faced. "I'm okay. I just took some... some pills."
"Some what? What kind of pills?"
He closed his eyes. I grabbed his hand. "No, hey, stay with me! What pills did you take?"
"You know... blue pills. Viagra."
"Your doctor gave you Viagra?"
"No... a friend of mine. Gave me a couple...."
"You took... Oh, shit!"
It turned out okay, but I was pretty worried for a few minutes because he did not look well. Luckily, after resting with his legs elevated for a while, he felt all right to go home, since I was perfectly clear that we would not be playing that day. (I wanted him to go to an ER, but he refused.)
"And if I do ever have a stroke or something, don't call an ambulance," he said. "Just call this friend of mine, his number is in my shirt pocket. He'll come get me."
I shook my head. "Sweetheart, I know why you're saying that, but if you keel over, I'm calling 911. You'll just have to square it with your wife somehow, because I'm not letting you die in my dungeon just so you can avoid marital discord."
But neither am I going to apply a defibrillator to someone's chest. I like medical play, but that kind of thing I leave to people who do it for real.
THURSDAY 5/17
RAIN CITY JACKSRain City Jacks is a private, men-only JO club that's alcohol, smoke, and attitude free. Raincityjacks.org, rc@raincityjacks.org, 7—10 pm (doors close at 8 pm), membership required.
FRIDAY 5/18
DIAPER DRIVEFor the duration of its run of Pinocchio, ArtsWest is sponsoring a diaper donation drive—boxes and boxes of donated diapers, there for the taking. Obviously, it's time for the baby and diaper fetishists to gird their loins, grab their pacifiers, and stage the perviest panty raid in history. ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339, www.artswest.org.
SATURDAY 5/19
CREATIVE BLOODPLAYDavid Funden teaches the artistic aspect of bloodplay, including bondage with staple guns, wings with needles, and other types of needle additions and cuttings. No previous experience required. Wet Spot, 1602 15th Ave W, Building E, 270-9746, info@wetspot.org, 3:30-—7:30 pm, $35—$45 sliding scale, membership not required.
SUNDAY 5/20
PARADISE POOL TIMEA clothing-optional "swim and be social" event at an indoor pool. The Longhouse in Redmond, 270-9746, pool@wetspot.org, noon—4 pm, $10, RSVP required, Wet Spot members and their guests only.
POLY WORKSHOP AND SOCIALAllena Gabosch discusses the rewards, pitfalls, and potential disasters of polyamory, based on her 30 years of experience, in her presentation of "The Good, the Bad, and the Poly." Afterward there will be a dance/meet and greet sponsored by the Sea-Poly Yahoo Group e-mail list. Wet Spot, 1602 15th Ave W, Building E, 270-9746, info@wetspot.org, class from 4—6 pm, $20, membership not required; meet and greet from 7 pm—midnight, $10 ($5 if you attend the workshop), Wet Spot membership or Sea-Poly membership required.
ORAL AMBITIONS: CUNNILINGUSLearn how to give pussy pleasure! Open to all genders and orientations. Babeland, 707 E Pike St, 328-2914, 7:30 pm, $30.
