My partner is intrigued by the idea. But he admitted that, as a kinda-straight guy, he doesn't know exactly what he would do in bed with another man. And this particular man is an FTM, which multiplies the anything-could-happen factor. But no matter who you're in bed with, what I've learned is this: Nobody always knows exactly what to do when it comes to sex. You either (a) figure it out as you go along, or (b) say, "Wow, new territory here. Any suggestions?" That's what is both great and perilous about any threesome--there is no default setting, no standard op. It's like a creative committee meeting of sex, with no Robert's Rules of Order.
Other thoughts on three-ways....
Keep the big head engaged. Yes, it's twice as challenging to stay conscious of the sexual rhythms of two other people, instead of just one. But you knew added pleasure brings added responsibility, didn't you? And balance is important--if you're in a couple, don't get so caught up with your guest star that you ignore your honey. If you just want to be the center of attention, with no accountability, hire two escorts.
Get clear about same-sex action in gender-mixed threesomes. If you'll be having three-of- a-kind sex, you can skip this. But if you're looking at a 1G/2B or 1B/2G situation, assume nothing. Making your wishes and limits clear in the negotiation phase trims the odds of any homophobic panic or disappointed pouting. And if you're the voyeuristic type of partner, it's okay to say you'd like to watch, but no whining if they don't want to go there.
The really important one: Let go of rigid expectations about what will happen. A common feature of the Lamest Threesomes I Have Known was a participant who was determined to step us through every triad pose ever seen in a porn magazine. "Okay, first, you go down on her while I fuck you--then I'll get on my back and you straddle my face while she sucks me...." I wasn't sure if I was having sex or doing a square dance. Ditch the playbook, baby, and just let your threesome fly by the seat of its pants.
