As a visible representative of the fetish community, I usually devote this column to the larger concepts and experiences in a sexual outlaw's life. But it's important not to neglect the details. So let's have a refresher talk about fetish fashion, because some of y'all clearly haven't been paying attention.
Guys first, because your problems are fairly clear-cut: Gentlemen, attending public fetish events in khaki Dockers and a polo shirt makes you look like a clueless wanker. This isn't complicated: Wear black. It doesn't have to be leather--a black T-shirt, 501s, and black shoes or boots will do ya. Your first leather clothing purchase should be black leather pants, and if you wear them with any color shoes except black, I will personally issue you a summons from the fashion police. (If you wear them with running shoes, you will be shot on sight.) A lower-budget option: a black leather vest. You can wear it over either a plain black or white T-shirt. Those vaguely pirate-ish shirts that lace in the front are also acceptable. But do not wear a big plumed hat, unless you're going to a Ren Faire or you are, in fact, Captain Morgan.
Women's fetish fashion problems are more complex. For one thing, most off-the-rack fetishwear is of poor design and inferior material. It rarely fits anyone properly, which makes it difficult to look good wearing it. Ladies, if the choice is between a sexy black dress that fits you as it should, but isn't especially fetishy, and an oh-so-kinky PVC outfit that bunches and gaps and pulls unattractively, wear the black dress with fetishy shoes.
A related problem is the fact that fetishwear companies apparently base their size charts on anorexic preteen girls. There's no other explanation for a fetishwear "large" being roughly a women's size six. It's perfidious, I know--but, my sisters, you must resist, with all of your strength, the urge to stuff yourself into a too-small outfit. For you, it's merely uncomfortable, but for the rest of us, it's truly painful to observe.
People have said to me, "Why does it matter what I wear? That shouldn't influence what people think of me." But it does. When you observe and follow a societal convention, you're signaling to others that you share a social value with them. Dressing properly may seem trivial, but it's a gesture of respect and attention to detail. And among people who push the edges of power and sensation, paying close attention to detail is crucial.
