I talk a lot in this column about how I value intimacy and ongoing connections to my BDSM partners. But there is something I enjoy so much that I've been known to consent to it after, oh, about five minutes of acquaintance with someone. I'm talking about having my feet kissed. I have to admit it: I'm really a bit of a slut for that.

The word kissed, of course, is a rather tame and polite way of referring to this pleasure. I'm not talking about dry little purse-mouthed pecks here. What I mean is toe-sucking, with a skillful tongue slithering into the sensitive crotch in between, and arch-nibbling, and wet sloppy lapping at the ball of my foot. I'm talking about having all five of my toes slide into someone's stretched-open mouth while his or her thumbs massage my sole. That's the kind of thing that makes me breathe out a long, slow, throaty hum of pleasure as my head falls back and my eyes drift shut. I've heard there is a pressure point for every part of the body on one's feet, and I believe it, because a good foot-kisser can make me tingle all over.

In BDSM circles, what I'm describing is usually called "foot worship." That's not a completely inaccurate term, but I think it overemphasizes the symbolic aspect. What I tell my submissives is that this is primarily a sensual pleasure for me. Like other sexy things, it can be part of dominant/submissive role-playing if you frame it that way, and I frequently do. But I've had my feet kissed during (mostly) vanilla sexual encounters, and I enjoyed it then, too. If it's good, I'll pretty much take it in any context.

Sometimes I think I should try to build some resistance to this weakness, because it's been used to manipulate me on occasion. I always used to know when a certain personal submissive of mine had done something I wouldn't like, because she'd come to me and immediately get down on the floor and start caressing and kissing my feet. Part of me would think, "Oh Jesus, what have you done now?" But my dopamine system would already be engaged by the time she actually confessed to her latest misdemeanor, so she would get off far more lightly than she should have. It's just not possible for me to be angry when someone's kissing my feet. I suppose you could say that it's the Mistress' Achilles' heel.

matisse@thestranger.com