It's not uncommon, in the BDSM community, for people to adopt what's called a "scene name." Not everyone does this, of course--those who do most commonly do it because they have an image- sensitive job, or kids, or both. They feel calling themselves a different name in the kink community gives them a layer of protection against being outed to the wrong people. And sometimes they do it just because it makes them feel sexy to be "Selina" instead of "Margaret." Certainly the name "Matisse" doesn't appear anywhere on my birth certificate, so I have no problem with the concept.
But I see that I'm going to have to be severe with you people and insist that you start exercising both some creativity and some restraint in this matter, because I'm noticing certain unacceptable trends. I'm too late for the perverts who've already chosen scene names, but let me lay out some rules for all those fledgling Jimmys and Jennifers who are poised on the brink of reinventing themselves.
1. You absolutely may not use Wolf, Bear, Hawk, Dragon, or Angel in any form. There are already way too many people using these names. I'm thinking of instituting a Kinky Names Registry, and anyone who wants one of those names will have to get on a list and wait until someone who's already using it either dies or goes vanilla (which I see as roughly the same thing).
2. You must choose a name that people can say without snickering. By "people," I mean me. I'm fine with unusual names, but there's a difference between being unusual and being ridiculously descriptive and self-aggrandizing. I am simply not going to address you as "SexyAngel"--unless I've got a handful of your hair in one fist and the other one is up your... oh, never mind. I'm just not. I'm also not going to call you SteelDom or SweetSub. If you want to style yourself thus in a chat room, go ahead. But if you introduce yourself to me like that at a party, I'm going to give you a look like Simon Cowell gave William "She Bangs" Hung.
3. Go gently with any honorifics: Insisting acquaintances always address you as Master or Mistress So-and-So smacks of desperation. The best don't advertise.
Remember, the power of naming yourself doesn't come from the letters you string together, but from the act of doing it. The Mistress' advice: Do not squander that power by over doing it.
