Dear Mistress Matisse,

Have you had different periods of being attracted to men or women? Or is or it entirely dependent on the person?

I think what I'm supposed to say, to be sort of sexually-politically correct, is that it totally depends on the person. And I suppose that's true to a degree, but in fact, I do seem to have periods when I lean strongly one way or another. I did women almost exclusively for a number of years, and then I got into a boy mood a few years ago, where I still am. I still enjoy doing BDSM with women, but the people who are generating the really serious hip-grinding lust in me are boys. Where my sexuality will take me next, and when, is anyone's guess.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on producing an instructional video for maybe doing BDSM at home, or even for pro dommes?

No, I will not be doing a pro domme instructional video anytime soon--why should I groom my competition when I'm still working in the industry? As for a BDSM instructional video--I doubt it. I produced one fetish video, and while it did turn out nicely, it was a lot more work than I anticipated. Thank god I did recoup my initial investment before PayPal went all Christian and stopped processing payments for adult products. But since then, I haven't found any easy, reliable, low-cost way for an individual person to collect online payments. So, too much hassle, too little reward.

Both of the men you are in relationships with are tops. Do you think it would be impossible for you to ever really, truly feel respect for someone who is submissive? I am wondering if secretly most dominant people look down on submissives.

For the record, Max is exclusively a top, but my secondary partner Roman switches with me. (The clueful among you will realize that makes me a switch, too.) But I'm sort of perplexed by your question--of course I can really, truly feel respect for people who are submissives. Why the hell wouldn't I?

Oh, I see. Someone has put it into your head that dominants think they're better than submissives simply because they're on the fat end of the whip. My response to that is: Absent a submissive, a dominant is just somebody dressed in funny clothes with a bunch of weird gadgets. You have to have two people in the room for anything interesting to happen. So a dominant looking down on submissives is like a conductor sneering at the musicians in the orchestra. Without them, he ain't got no job.

So, you wrote that column a few weeks ago about how sex workers can meet guys. Well, I'm a guy, and I'd dig dating a sex worker--how do I meet one?

I got about a dozen letters like this in the wake of that column, and I'm slightly torn. On the one hand, I like to promote sexy happiness among my readers, so I do have a suggestion for you boys. But before I give it to you, let me caution you. A lot of women--including me--would look somewhat askance at a guy who said he was specifically seeking a sex worker to date. I'd figure you were probably looking for a hot babe who'd put out early and often. There's nothing wrong with wanting a sex-positive princess. But assuming that since she's a sex worker, she's going to be a home run on the first date is insulting. (Unless you're paying her.) So whatever your secret fantasies may be, don't presume she's automatically more sexually available to you than a non-sex-worker woman. And if she talks about her job, try not to react as if she's reading aloud from Penthouse Letters.

With that in mind, men who love sex-working women should attend the Fallen Women Follies show at the Rebar, Friday and Saturday April 29th and 30th ( The place should be swarming with working ladies.

i had seen ur pics and i like to see more pics u naked plz send me ur naked pics

Now, if you were wondering what kind of people I actually do look down on…