I don't like the Republican Party. You probably assumed that, me being a kinky pervert and all—but being kinky does not automatically make you a liberal, though many BDSM people do lean to the left. However, I have a dirty little secret: I've never actually pulled a lever for a Republican, but sometimes I have a fantasy about doing so.

Of course, Republicans utterly fail me on social issues like gay marriage and abortion rights. But the businesswoman in me is tantalized by their secular business side. It's like getting hit on by a handsome, charming guy that I know, deep down, is a lying cad. He whispers in my ear about "less regulation." Well, yes, I say, seeing as how I'm not capable of crashing the national economy, I do think my business should be less regulated by the government. He stares deeply into my eyes and tells me how he really respects my spirit of American innovation and hard work. It makes a girl wonder if it's possible to reform the bad boy or even to just ignore the problem areas.

But then I remember: Republicans don't think those ideas apply to the sex business. To be fair, Democrats aren't going to decriminalize sex work, either. But Clinton largely left the sex industry alone, and Democrats don't bill themselves as the free-market, capitalism-trumps-everything "Party of Business." Governor Sarah Palin has said that when it comes to business, too often government is the problem, not the solution. I'm sure former business owner Paul Little would agree with her. On October 3, Mr. Little—known professionally as Max Hardcore—was sentenced to 46 months by a federal judge for making porn videos deemed obscene and sending them through the mail. How much money do you think it cost us to investigate, arrest, and try this man, let alone keep him in prison? Just so one maker of porn movies is out of business. Has Paul Little's conviction made our country a more "moral" place? Not that I've noticed. Have prosecutions like this had a chilling effect on both free speech and the free market? I know it's put a frost on mine. One of the main reasons I don't make videos is that I fear my government. Way to go, GOP—you could be stimulating growth by, well, stimulating growth. But you missed out on the tax revenue I would have generated from that—and I doubt I'm the only one. Don't even get me started on how much money you'd make if you decriminalized all forms of sex work done by consenting adults. But my industry has no lobbyists. Thus, while I have never stolen anyone's life savings, I am an outlaw, and the Wall Street guys were, until lately, reputable businessmen.

John McCain isn't the average Republican, and thus I had hoped that this year something might change with the Republican Party, that it might offer me something—and someone—I could respect. Once again, I am deeply disappointed. It seems that for me, the Republican Party remains a fantasy that will never be fulfilled. recommended