A guy who said he'd call you a week ago still hasn't called. What do you do?
A. Write him off as a flake who doesn't deserve your lusciousness.
B. Fret for a couple days, and then accept the challenge to flex your independence muscles and move on.
C. Smoke pot until the sobbing stops.
You're out on an expensive dinner date with a guy who responds to the check by announcing he left his wallet at home. What do you do?
A. Throw your wine in his face while screaming the chorus to "No Scrubs."
B. Cover the check, and then key his car.
C. Pay for everything, and thank him for letting you, maybe blow him on the ride home; then get stoned and write a self-flagellating song about your poor choices that rhymes "crazy" with "lazy."
You wake up in the morning and the sky is gray. What do you do?
A. Throw on your snazziest rain jacket and seize the day!
B. Call in sick to work; then feel terrible about lying when there are actual people who are actually sick and experience a miraculous "recovery" that allows you to report to your job after lunch.
C. Smoke pot until the sobbing stops; then check your bank balance and write a song about it that rhymes "crazy" with "lazy."
Two or more As: You are a sassy self-sufficient sister!
Two or more Bs: Your self-esteem wavers, but you're determined to learn to love you for you!
Two or more Cs: You are Bethany Cosentino.