The Garden of Allah began as a novel, then became a movie starring Marlene Dietrich, then a gay cabaret in Seattle, then it was a book about a gay cabaret in Seattle (An Evening at the Garden of Allah), and now it's a cabaret-like play in Seattle about a gay cabaret in Seattle (Return to the Garden of Allah). But in the transition to its latest form, The Garden of Allah also became a protest target.

Open Circle Theater, whose production opened at Re-bar last Friday, received a letter from the Downtown Muslim Association of Seattle dated March 16, asking them to "take steps to change the title of this show immediately," due to "Muslims find[ing] the use of the word 'Allah' in this context to be extremely offensive." The letter, signed by DMAS President Robert R. Akhtar and some 120 others, also asks Open Circle "to refrain from the use of any symbols or contents that [are] significant or sensitive to the religion of Islam in all of your future programmes."

Sorry, but nothing doing on the first part of your request, said Open Circle's artistic director in a letter back to Akhtar's group. The title "directly references the actual cabaret venue... which existed in Seattle in the 1940s and 1950s." A fascinating place, by the way: the first gay-owned cabaret in the country, and a beacon of libertinism in a straitjacketed time. He goes on to say "the producers intend absolutely no disrespect to the religion of Islam."

Oddly, the letterhead for DMAS claims as the group's mission statement, "To promote Islam and the Islamic principles of peace, love, education, compassion, tolerance, and justice." It fails to add that the tolerance part doesn't apply to fags who use Islamic references.

No one answered the phone at the DMAS office, so I couldn't find out if they had any juicy picketing plans, but I'll follow up on any future developments.

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One of the few benefits of being a critic -- other than forcing your opinions on the masses on a regular basis -- is all the free stuff people send you. And one of the benefits of the Internet, of course, is broad public access to information. One of the best scams currently running on the Internet combines those two benefits. A jessebowen@bigfoot.com wrote me recently promising that I could get "virtually any PC or Macintosh software program, any book (fiction or non-fiction), and any consumer product costing less than $300," just by becoming a "registered reviewer" for an unnamed website.

I tried to register (one always can use more free stuff, and I wanted to see how much money they were going to suck out of me for the privilege of receiving theirs), but my e-mails were returned with delivery failure messages. Guess I'll have to earn my free stuff the old fashioned way -- lying to publicists.

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Congrats to The Stranger's Charles Mudede, as well as local writers Judy Doenges, Chris Forhan, and Thomas Orton, for their selection as the first grant recipients from a new local organization. The Hugo House Gift Exchange, formed by a quartet of people loosely affiliated with that organization, intends to give cash grants on an annual basis to local writers -- $500 a pop in this round. This is the best kind of arts philanthropy: unconditional, unpretentious, and involving nothing but a transfer of money directly into the pockets of artists. There's no application process, either. The Gift Exchange's donor committee privately decides upon recipients. The fund welcomes contributions: Contact Hugo House at 322-7030 for more information.

Send gossip and complaints to eric@thestranger.com