We're only telling you this because we care about you. That hairdo has got to go. Of particular note is the so-called "Safety Cut" (short on top to fit in at the Wild Rose, long in back to placate the parents). The '80s are not only over, but are best left forgotten. We beseech you, dykes of bad hair, to do something about it. Just because we lesbians, by definition, shun that defining characteristic of straight women, does not mean we must shun the appurtenances of good hair and fit physique. We're not promoting the excessive body-consciousness of our apathetic gay brothers, but WHY is fat more beautiful in our community than in others?

We all bang our fists waiting for the likes of Jodie Foster to come out of the closet, but perhaps she fears being associated with this bad hair-stylin', beer-swillin', truck-drivin', wife-beatin', co-dependent relationship-celebratin', group-thinkin', butch/femme delineatin', oversize T-shirt-wearin', Melissa Etheridge-listenin' community! We sure do! And another thing, exactly what statement does the pink triangle on your bumper/windshield make anymore? We know it isn't political -- the political consciousness in the Wild Rose is equivalent to a Seahawks game.

We expect this sort of shameful apathy from the guys at Manray and Spintron, but historically, lesbians have had a political voice. (And walking topless behind a rainbow flag only says that you like walking topless behind a rainbow flag, Dyke Action.) It's time to evolve. Come on girls, fix yourselves up and get with it. Stop embarrassing us.

-- Anonymous