ATOMFILMS had such big dreams. Dreams so large that you could not laugh at them. Yes, if you go far enough, if you push an idea way beyond the limits of all reason, then people will take you seriously. I took them seriously. I actually thought their claims were legitimate, and that in the near future they would topple television and cinema and replace the old systems of distribution with a new one. Now that they are about to go, I realize that my faith in their ridiculous mission had nothing to do with their content, which was average, or their business plan, but their promise to destroy L.A. and locate Seattle as the new center of mass entertainment. In a word, I was rooting for my city.

But what a disaster this has become! Not so long ago Seattle was poised to displace L.A., to reduce it to rubble. Like jazz, L.A. was born at the beginning of the 20th century, and, with a dagger thrust by future-bound Seattle, died at the end of it. Evidence of this perfect death was everywhere; just think of the Internet Entertainment Group, which was one of the biggest players in Internet porn. It had studios on Capitol Hill, was making tons of money, and Seattle was ready to replace Los Angeles as the porn capital. But then it all fell apart: First, employees' checks bounced; then the studios closed; and finally, the CEO, Seth Warshavsky, who once graced the cover of Seattle Weekly and represented the very image of the new economy, fled to Thailand.

Now it is AtomFilms. They challenged L.A. and lost miserably. Not only did they lose, burn up, and die, they are relocating to San Francisco! If AtomFilms wanted to leave our city with any honor, they only had two choices: either relocate to Vancouver, BC (our beautiful twin) or commit hara-kiri. There was no third way. Indeed, moving to San Francisco, our enemy city in the new economy, is nothing less than high treason, and we should never forgive AtomFilms for humiliating our city. Never, never, never, never, never!

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