Coming up with new ways to describe the genius of chanteuse/raconteur/superstar Dina Martina is one of my life’s great pleasures and challenges. The 2012 edition: Imagine if a cut-rate Elizabeth Taylor impersonator went skydiving but her parachute failed and she crash-landed into a Shoney’s buffet, after which she was forced to perform a variety show despite her ever-worsening brain damage. Ample Wattage promises new songs, new costumes, and, glory be, new video. (Bonus: Today brings a Bloody Mary Matinee, involving brunchy drink specials and Dina in dank daylight.) (Re-bar, 1114 Howell St,, 2 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+)

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