Faster than a speeding Zamboni, hairier than a barber-shop floor, and more graceful than nothing, Dina Martina is the internationally beloved drag chanteuse/raconteur/train wreck created by the freshly minted Stranger Genius Grady West, and Dina Martina’s Christmas shows are a thing of wonder. Expect cheesy pop songs molested into nouveau Christmas carols (with live piano accompaniment by Chris Jeffries), jaw-dropping props, and laughing until your bladder explodes. (Re-bar, 1114 Howell St,, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+)