Autumn Almanac

Reasons to Live

Fall Arts Listings

Fight Club

Being John Malkovich

Autumnal Picks 2001

Fall Trends in Porn

Neo-Classical

Film Calendar

Interactions with Instability

Passage to Juneau:

The Remains of River Names

Prisoners

Books Calendar

Wit

70 Scenes of Halloween

Theater at Home!

Art Online

Theater Calendar

Visual Arts Calendar

Ronnie Spector

DJ Eva

Wha'choo Lookin' At?!?

Grounded!

CD Release Calendar

Inside Out

Houston


MON AUG 30

QUE SYRAH, SHIRAZ -- Stop trying to meet the love of your life at AA. Meet a date with a job at this informal wine tasting, featuring four kinds of shiraz/syrah (same grape, different country). Here's your chance to act really grown up and use phrases like "a pleasing bouquet," "a full-bodied red," or "very tannic, with hints of berry." Lead Art Gallery and Wine Bar, 1022 First Avenue, 623-6240, 5-11 pm, $18/person.


MON SEPT 6

TASTE OF WASHINGTON FARMS -- It ain't all about apples. This fruit & veggie party gives urban Seattleites the chance to sample various types of gorgeous Washington agriculture. Along with farm booths, activities include chef demonstrations, tastings, games for the kids, and live entertainment. Bring your appetite and say goodbye to the summer. Pike Place Market, 10 am-4 pm, FREE.


THURS-SUN SEPT 9-12

SALMON HOMECOMING -- Coho, King, Copper River, or lox? Call them what you will, but they're returning from the ocean in spades, and this party is celebrating their arrival and upcoming mating frenzy. Since the Seattle Aquarium, the Environmental Protection Agency, Coast Salish Tribes, and the Northwest Indian Fisheries Commission are all sponsors of this homage to salmon, don't be surprised if you end up wanting to save the fish instead of cooking it. Pier 62/63, Waterfront Park & Bell Harbor Conference Center, 9 am-10 pm, FREE.


FRI-SUN SEPT 10-12

FOX FAMILY FEST -- Skip the Saturday morning cartoons and git the young 'uns over to the county fair, where plenty of G-rated fun awaits. And if the "Addams Family Haunted House," magic shows, interactive computer games, lip synch contests, animation tents, and craft booths don't pacify your kids -- ground 'em. Puyallup Fairgrounds, 8 am-11 pm; $7.50/adults, $4.50/ages 6-18, FREE/5 and under.


THURS-SUN SEPT 16-19

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH -- Don't even try and deny that you wanted to join the circus when you were a child. So now you're too old and much too hip for cotton candy and glittery elephants? Whatever, you fucking liar. Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, America's oldest three-ring production, may not offer martinis, digital anything, or avant garde notions -- but nothing can scratch that nostalgic itch like acrobats, trapeze artists, The Human Comet, and more clowns than you can squeeze into a tiny car. KeyArena, matinee/evening showtimes vary; $12.75, $15.75, or $18.75/person. Call 628-0888 for tickets.


FRI-SUN SEPT 17-19

THE GREAT WALLINGFORD WURST FEST -- Aaah, finally. Something in this prissy, crunchy-granola town that Uncle Vinny and the Gotti Brothers would approve of: a festival devoted to the Plump, Juicy Sausage. Besides carnival rides, children's games, live music, beer gardens, and all the usual outdoor fair attractions, the Wurst Fest boasts an actual sit-down sausage dinner, hot off the grill -- just like the Feast of San Gennaro back in the old neighborhood.... Capishe? St. Benedict School (Wallingford Ave N and N 48 St.); Fri 5-10 pm, Sat 10 am-10 pm, Sun 11 am-5 pm, FREE.


SAT SEPT 18

WOODLAND PARK ZOO'S CENTENNIAL -- Look. The zoo is 100 years old, so it's time to start showing it a little goddam respect. It's one of the only places left for kids to learn about animal behavior (outside of Toys R Us on Christmas Eve), so drag their screaming asses away from their Pokemons, and give them the real thing. Birthday activities include lectures, tours, and live music (as if groups of wailing kids weren't enough to annoy the animals). Woodland Park Zoo (5500 N 59 St), 9:30 am-6 pm, zoo admission.


SAT-SUN SEPT 25-26

1999 FREMONT OKTOBERFEST -- Regional ales, ciders, hefeweizens, and other assorted fancy beers from 25 local breweries will be flowing 'n' foaming at this annual fest. For the under-21 set, the "Texas Chainsaw" Pumpkin Carving Contest and mask making area for kids offers un-drunky alternative festivities. Beware of slurring frat boys and male hippies wearing sarongs. Under the Aurora Bridge (N 34 St and Fremont Ave N), Sat 12-9 pm, Sun 12-5 pm, FREE.


SAT SEPT 25

FEELIN' GOOD WITH KAREN VOIGHT -- Anorexia's no fun anymore, and it makes your skin look like shit. But before you go allValley of the Dolls, try a session with fitness queen Karen Voight, where she'll answer questions, give hot booty tips, and show off the latest active wear and exercise equipment. Downtown Nordstrom, Pacific Place Mall, 12-2 pm; call 628-1560 for more details.


FRI OCT 1

NEIGHBORHOOD COMMUNITIES FAIR -- Goooooooo TEAM!! Learn about restoring and developing communities; explore models for block watches, co-housing, neighborhood councils, eco-villages, P-Patch community gardens, and Y2K preparedness groups. Schmooze at the panel discussions, and find out how you can improve your area while getting neighbors organized and involved. Don't worry -- hand-holding, trust games, or "hug-a-neighbor" exercises will not be enforced. Phinney Neighborhood Center Community Hall (6532 Phinney Ave N), 6-8:30 pm; for more details, check out www.neighbornets.org.


THURS OCT 7

IN-STORE APPEARANCE BY BOBBI BROWN -- Taupe or mocha? Matte or glossy? Loose powder, pressed powder? Show up with a naked face, 'cause Ms. Fabulous Makeup Artist will show you how to work those lips, eyes, and cheeks. Downtown Nordstrom, Pacific Place mall, 10 am-1 pm; for more details call 628-1086.


SAT OCT 9

LIVABLE COMMUNITIES FAIR -- A public gathering for those wanting a greener, friendlier, more energy-efficient lifestyle. Plot with other cheery residents about solar power, traffic-calming, compost piles, and just generally improving your "quality of life." (If "quality of life" means standing knee-deep in rotting fruit.) Complete with interactive exhibits, guest speakers, and workshops. Seattle Center (Northwest Rooms), 9 am-6 pm, FREE; for more details, see www.livablecommunities.org.


THURS-MON OCT 14-18

QUEER CAMP FOR WITCHES '99 -- Forget Vegas or San Francisco -- they are so over. For a dreamy fall getaway, get back to your fertile, earthy, Pagan roots (Christians: stay home). Connect with other queer witches over four days of "intensive magic, ritual, transformation, discovery, and play" as you deepen your relationship with the gods and goddesses who feed your spirit. This private camp -- in the lush, mystical forests outside of Vancouver, BC -- is located right by a lake, in the midst of cedar and fir. Morning workshops, nighttime rituals, and "magical exploration" will be led by witchcraft experts, including Priestess Pomegranate Doyle, Ritualist/Weaver of Men Jack Davis, and composer/Reclaiming Tradition Priestess Bridgid McGowan. Delve into eco-feminism, personal empowerment, and ethereal ecstasy before the winter rains fall. (The Stranger is not making this up. We swear to God!). Queer Witch Camp, Vancouver BC, $325/person. All sexual orientations and genders welcome. Call Sage (No, really! That's her name!) for registration/more details, 604-254-5529.


SAT-SUN OCT 16-17

EARTHSAVE'S TASTE OF HEALTH -- Okay, fatso. Put the bratwurst down. Put your sandals on. See demos from health food cookbook authors and local chefs. Sample different vegetables, fruits, legumes, and grains from Seattle restaurants. Learn about eating correctly from nutrition experts. Try not to gag over wheatgrass juice and carob. Seattle Center, $5/person; call Earthsave, 781-6602, for more details.


WED OCT 27

ACCESS '99 -- The ACCESS Foundation's employment conference/job fair gives people with disabilities a chance to meet potential employers in a supportive, barrier-free environment. Interpreters, large print, Braille, and assistive listening devices are available at the job fair. Expected sponsors include Nordstrom and Washington Mutual. Seattle Center (Northwest Rooms), 9 am-7 pm; for more info, see www.accesnw.org.


WED NOV 10

DIVERSITY EMPLOYMENT CARAVAN -- This traveling job fair -- the brainchild of community organizer/equal employment advocate Hank Rivera -- is rolling into town with tons of employment options. The caravan's goal is to provide job opportunities with companies who accept workers of all races and ages, including those with language limitations. Past participants include FedEx, Alaska Airlines, Eddie Bauer, Bartell's, and The Seattle Times. Bring your resume and be prepared to interview and dazzle. North Seattle Community College (Student Cafe, 9600 College Way N), 10 am-2 pm; for more details, call Hank Rivera, 425-456-6605.


WED NOV 10

MILLENNIUM PEACE PROJECT -- How 'bout a little misty-eyed optimism (or nausea) to brighten a grey November day? The World Peace Project for Children will round up 10,000 kids (bring your own Valium) to fold the world's largest origami paper crane -- the international (who knew?) symbol for peace. The entire project will be "built" and displayed at the Kingdome, before the eagerly anticipated millennial demolition. (Please note: The Kingdome and the World Peace Project for Children are not responsible for artery-severing paper cuts.) Kingdome, all day; for more details, check out www.seattlecenter.com/millennium.