Incumbent King County executive Dow Constantine—who, let's be honest, doesn't really have an opponent—has raised an impressive $911,000 this campaign season, far more than any other county or city candidate in this off-off-election-year cycle. So on what has Constantine been spending all his campaign cash?

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Of the $507,000 Constantine has spent, $154,000 went to Newman Partners, his campaign fundraising consultant. Another $75,000 went to "event" rental, catering, staging, entertainment, etc., presumably to pay for campaign fundraising events. That's $229,000—about one shiny quarter out of every dollar raised, and more than half of every campaign dollar spent.

It takes money to raise money, and all that. Even in politics.

Constantine's campaign has also paid $63,000 to its general consultant, Northwest Passage, while transferring another $50,000 to Constantine's "surplus funds account" (whatever that is). But throw in (or out) another $65,000 in miscellaneous expenses, and Constantine still has more than $400,000 left in his campaign war chest with only a week to go before his sure-thing reelection.

So how should Constantine spend his remaining $400,000? We at The Stranger offer the following carefully considered suggestions:

• 160,000 peak travel time Metro bus tickets, to be passed out like candy all around the county.

• 75,000 Rancho Bravo burritos, enough to feed the entire staff of The Stranger lunch for more than seven years.

• 500 high-quality hairpieces, so that all of Constantine's future old, white, male challengers won't have to start their campaigns with inferior heads of hair.

• 125 pounds of marijuana—again, enough to keep the entire staff of The Stranger totally wasted for more than seven years.

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• A fleet of 20 brand-new Priuses for Stranger staffers, so that we can stop giving a shit about King County Metro and start hassling the City of Seattle about parking.

• Or one $400,000 independent expenditure on behalf of Proposition 1's public campaign financing, so that at least here in Seattle, fucking insane campaign cash hoarding like this becomes a thing of the past. recommended