KELLY O

Happy Valentine's Day from two freakishly gorgeous Portland girls, T-Rex and Kitty Sue, who just did two shots of Hornitos and are now going to touch tongues while one balding garage-rocker watches in disbelief instead of watching Mudhoney, who are playing the most unbelievably fun show in the most unbelievably tiny club.

I'd also like to take the time, um, right here, right now, to say I HEART PORTLAND. I love Slabtown, Mary's Club, the male stripper at the Silverado who looks like Coady Willis from the Murder City Devils (and the one in the purple G-string who tea-bagged me), and "Butch," the cab driver who took us through the Taco Bell drive-through at 2:55 a.m. Wow. recommended