What does Santa do the day after Christmas? He goes to the Dry Dock in Alpena, Michigan to drink Milwaukee's Best and smoke lots of cigarettes. Santa didn't have any presents, but he did give us a free kiss and then tried to squeeze our boob. I mean, you just never know when the magic of Christmas is going to strike.

Santa says, "Where's my 10 bucks?" As Drunk of the Week, Santa will receive a Drunk of the Week T-shirt, and the rest of our winning scratch tickets. KELLY O