In the immortal words of actor Lee Horsley, "...the best advice I can give is, if you're ever in a wheelchair, never pick a fight with a man who has the words 'Born to Die' tattooed on his forehead..."

Also, if you're ever really, REALLY drunk, it's probably best NOT to drop your pants and spread 'em for the other drunk girl, who's holding the big-ass camera, in the hot pink Havana bathroom at 1:35 a.m. Hoo girl! The Nanzwitch, god bless 'er, will receive a cab voucher and one DOTW T-shirt.