Monica Hills
We were only at the sexy new Whiskey Bar (across from the Moore Theatre) for about 10 minutes when we somehow ended up in the bathroom with Monica. Guys: Don't you wonder why girls always go to the bathroom in pairs? I mean, why do they always go in there together, then come out, a half an hour later, all smiling and smirking and giggling? For God's sake--what the HELL are they doing in there?

Ha! I wish I could tell you but I can't. Monica was drinking "Um, a little bit of everything" and says, "I hope I don't get fired!" We hope you don't get fired either. Shit! As Drunk of the Week, Monica will receive $10 and one of those T-shirts. Really. The shirts do exist, they're still at the screenprinters. They'll be done soon, everyone. I swear. KELLY O