Sometimes I feel like a total creep, leering at people in bars, secretly monitoring how much they're drinking, waiting for that moment when they tip over the edge. Sometimes people are offended when I ask them to be Drunk of the Week—like the time someone tried to steal my camera then spit on my shoe. Then there're times when beautiful drunk girls just walk right up to ME, kiss my cheek, and show me their... well, you know. Hey, I'm just sayin'... It's not an easy job, but it does have perks.

Bethany says, "It's my 22nd birthday, and I have a zit in my armpit!" She'll receive one $10 bill and a DOTW T-shirt. KELLY O