Ahh Kel'lay, yah bonny lad with th' same name as me! Aye love yah s'much, aye wrote cha ah po'em. Eh-hem. 'Ere goes:

There once was a Kelly from Dallas

Who had too much beer in his chalice

He tried to be silly

When he showed her his willy

But now she's got pics of his phallus

Who doesn't love a drunk Scot in a real kilt? Um... nobody, that's who! Sir Kelly will receive $10 and a special custom pair of DOTW underwear. KELLY O