Kelly O

(1) Cut a hole in a box. (2) Put your junk in that box. (3) Make her open the box. And that's the way you do it... It's a dick in a box! It's my dick in a box, yeah, my dick in a box, girl. Christmas! Dick in a box! Hanukkah! Dick in a box! Kwanzaa! A dick in a box! Every single holiday—a dick in a box. Over at your parents' house...

Oh wait, what? Your name is John? Oh. Sorry man. John and his pal, uh, "Capt. Reindeer" will each receive DOTW shirts.