all photos Kelly O
1. The Brain Tumor


"It's disgusting. It's peach schnapps, Baileys, and grenadine. I hate making them. It looks like a human brain stem floating in a shot glass. I really hate making them."

Darlene, the Smoke Shop, Ballard


2. The Abortion


"It's Baileys Irish Cream, grenadine, and vodka. I try not to serve these at any cost. Someone bought one for me once, on my birthday, at the Pacific Inn. It was a regretful birthday. I woke up sleeping in my car. It really only takes one abortion to ruin your whole night."

—Tom, the Blue Moon, U-District


3. Black & Tan: The Shot


"This drink was invented during a night of karaoke at Bush Garden. It's equal parts Cazadores and Jägermeister. I wish I could tell you something regretful about that night, but I don't remember much. I can tell you it tastes like a Wiener schnitzel wrapped in a tortilla covered in hot sauce."

Michael, Al's Tavern, Wallingford recommended


EVEN MORE REGRETS!

“One day a guy asked me for “stupid shots” so I gave him and his buddy two “Jägermonsters”—Jäger, Half & Half, and a shit-ton of Tabasco. I also once made 27 mojitos that had NO RUM in them at all. Everybody loved them and magically appeared to be three sheets to the wind. I regret doing this, but it was an interesting experiment.” —Kevin "The Scotsman", bartender at 18 different Seattle bars over the past 18 years, and currently at Spitfire Grill, Neumos, and Chungee’s Drink ’n Eat


“I’ve made a bunch of gross shots that people would dare each other to drink, but only one that everyone liked enough to get really drunk from. I called it “The Tidy Bowl” and/or the “2000 Flushes”. I didn’t taste too bad and was fresh-toilet-water-blue in color.” —Clarita, bartender, McLeod Room (now-closed)


“The nefarious “Mexican Clambake”—tequila, Clamato, and Tabasco, micro waved and served hot. Sounded plausible, but it really wasn’t. It made the imbiber immediately MEAN. One recipient ran to the restroom covering their mouth to suppress puking. I think I heard a spicy Montezuma’s Revenge was also an after effect." —Marcus, bartender, Pony Bar


“We had an older gentleman come in with fresh news from his doctor about a new ulcer. He ordered a scotch shot—and he wanted milk in it. He probably thought this was he was being healthy, considering he was told not to drink anymore. As soon as the milk touched the scotch, it curdled. It was one of the most disgusting shots I’ve ever made. But hey, what can you do. I charged him $7 bucks and sent him on his journey back to health. There’s also the age-old trick of Bailey’s and lime juice, usually causing immediate vomiting as it curdles in your stomach. That’s a good one for the newly 21-year olds.” —Robert, bartender, The Chapel


“Gin and Blue Curacao. This is my go-to for the 21-runs, or the “I-don’t-know-surprise-me!” people. I’ve never seen anyone take this shot, including myself, without spitting it back up. I also once witnessed a patron spill his shot on the bar, soak it up with a bar rag, and squeeze it back into the glass. —Kerry, Cha Cha Lounge recommended


This article has been updated since its original publication.