Mom! Quit staring! Kelly O

Have you ever taken your mom to a party (or maybe a BOAT PARTY), and suddenly after just three glasses of white zin on ice, she's lost her shoes, dropped two plates of food, taken her bra off and put it in her purse, and kissed the gay waiter—and then she almost gets eighty-sixed because she just wants to "give people's buns a little squeeze" on the dance floor? I can't say this has ever happened to me. BUT IF IT DID, I wouldn't hold it against her. She's your mom, damnit—and you get only one of those. So suck it up, and just make sure she doesn't get arrested. recommended