To a certain girl who's completely clueless about a salsa-dancing fuckhead -- WAKE UP!! Your boyfriend, or whatever you call the stupid bastard, is an asshole. And not even a smart asshole; he's a retarded asshole. Oh yes, he does like to think of himself as a slick-talkin' ladies' man, but he's about as slick as Don Knotts with Tourette's syndrome.

The man can't even lie good! He's the most pathetic man I've ever been with in my life, and I should know -- I've been the other girlfriend for five years. That's right, honey, the whole time he's been with you, he's been with me. I'm sure you've already figured that one out, because otherwise you're just as dumb as him, in which case you deserve each other and there's no point to this little rant. But I don't think you're dumb, in which case you need to dump his sorry ass like I did.

Girl, why do you continue to quietly stand by while he's out with me or some other sucker? He's makin' a fool out of you. You think he loves you? The only person he loves is himself. He'd push his own mother out of the way if she were blocking his reflection in the mirror. The only thing that brings sparks to his eyes is that you come from money. He really digs the fact that he, the self-proclaimed barrio boy, is with the ideal Wasp wet dream. So wake the fuck up, and dump his sorry ass. I did, and girlfriend? It feels good.

-- Anonymous