The Amazing Colossal Man
See Blow Up. Historic University Theater, Thurs-Sat at 8 pm
Brother Born Again
Filmmaker Julia Pimsleur's brother Marc escaped the Jewish conspiracy to find deep salvation in the arms of a fundamentalist Christian commune in Alaska. WWJD--What Will Julia Do? 911 Media Arts Center, Fri at 8:30 pm.
Citizen Fish
See Blow Up. Independent Media Center, Fri at 7 pm.
Devil Fetus
The press release says this gorefest "could possibly be the most disgusting and innappropriate film in Hong Kong history." Is your interest piqued yet? It most definitely should be. Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat at 11 pm.
Exploding Cinema
See Blow Up. Barca, Sun at 8 pm.
The Five Senses
See Blow Up. Consolidated Works, Fri-Sun at 8 pm.
Ichi the Killer
More from that wack sicko Takashi Miike (Audition), this time perhaps his most gruesome film to date. The Yakuza and hypnotism collide in Ichi the Killer, and the results are ridiculously nasty. No one under 18 is going to be admitted to this Northwest premiere of Miike's uncut opus, and those over 18 should go in suitably warned, to wit: It ain't gonna be pretty. Grand Illusion, Fri at 6, 8:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 3:30, 6, 8:30 pm
Kook on the Rocks
See Blow Up. Rendezvous, Sat at 8 pm.
Noam Chomsky x 3
The most brilliant mind of all time and forever times infinity, Chomsky gets out of my inbox and onto the movie screen with three documentaries, 1992's Manufacturing Consent, 1997's The Myth of the Liberal Media, and last year's Power and Terror. Little Theatre, see Movie Times for specific times.
Nuyorican Dream
In a bleak slice-of-life documentary, director Laurie Collyer presents the story of a Puerto Rican family in New York struggling with crime, addiction, and abject poverty with no doubt dismal results. 911 Media Arts Center, Fri at 7 pm.
Rare Rolling Stones Movies
See Blow Up. Sunset, Mon at 8 pm.
Staying Alive
The final screening in University of Washington's Palestine Film Festival premieres a documentary on the topic of death-defying youths in Palestine who throw stones at Israeli soldiers. University of Washington, Savery Hall, Thurs at 7 pm.
* Stockstock
See Blow Up. A couple dozen entrants were each given the same 37 minutes of stock footage and told to make a short film out of it. This one-night-only event reveals the results. Seattle Art Museum, Sun at 6:30 pm.
Viaduct? What Viaduct?
With the most riveting premise for a documentary film ever concieved, the folks at Action: Better City screen their recently completed work, a look at what the absence of the viaduct means to Seattle's waterfront. Seattle Art Museum, Wed at 6:15.
The Wrong Box
"Strangely, I haven't had fur for a fortnight." Seattle Art Museum, Thurs May 29 at 7:30 pm.
now playing
Anger Management
It's unofficially recommended that one wear a helmet when viewing the Adam Sandler/Jack Nicholson comedy Anger Management, so as not to cause damage to the right frontal lobe due to repeated self-administered head slapping. However, the movie is so bad you'll want to die before it's over. (KATHLEEN WILSON)
Bend It Like Beckham
Essentially a traditional coming-of-age story, though with a spicy ethnic twist: A hot Anglo-Indian teenage girl in outer London pursues her dream of professional soccer stardom against the wishes of her traditional Sikh parents--immigrants who, still steeped in Indian culture, are only concerned with her educational and marriage prospects, and consequently just don't get it. Stuff happens and challenges are overcome, and Mummy and Papa come around in the end, as we know they will, but the predictable conventionality of the plot structure is expertly obscured by the pleasures of the journey. It is all charming fluff and captivating if improbable lightness, of course, but for a feel-good comedy, there is no higher praise. (SANDEEP KAUSHIK)
Better Luck Tomorrow
Evidently, this first-time film from Justin Lin caused quite a stir at Sundance, though after watching it I find whatever controversy it created a little perplexing. The story of a pack of overachieving Asian high-school students turning to crime for kicks in suburbia, the film is little more than Goodfellas and Boyz N the Hood spackled together with an Asian cast, directed with overly hyper flare by Lin, and purchased by MTV films for release to teens and tweens nationwide. Does swapping out Italians for Asians make for enough originality to create a buzz? I guess so, though it doesn't really make for a memorable picture. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Bowling For Columbine
For a while, Moore seems on to something--a culture of fear endemic to our country--but in the end, he shortchanges psychological complexity in favor of cheap shots. He wants to say something great, but ultimately doesn't. Can't, maybe. Because he isn't really a social critic, he's a demagogue. (SEAN NELSON)
Bruce Almighty
Just when you though there was nothing worse than an earnest Jim Carrey comedy, it hits you like a sack of shit in the kisser--there is something worse, and that's an earnest Jim Carrey comedy that casts the overacting, overarching comedian as God. If I wanted religion and the importance of prayer shoved down my throat like a giant morality tampon sucking up every last bit of patience until I'm suffocating on it, I'd be on my knees in a pew already. But there's no reason for me--or anyone else--to sit through crap with lines like, "Miracles are single mothers of two who take their kids to soccer practice." Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke? No, it's not. It's the inane story of Jim Carrey as Bruce Nolan, a loser who takes the Lord's (Morgan Freeman) name in vain until He gives ol' Bruce His job so Bruce can see the importance of prayer beads and learn why God doesn't help people win the lottery and stupid stuff like that. It's also yet another example of how Jim Carrey has failed to be significantly funny since In Living Color hit reruns (and I don't even know if he was funny on that show anymore).
* Chicago
Basically, the last hour of Chicago is a mess. Never-theless, I recommend it. You'll have to endure Richard Gere as Billy Flynn, of course, but it's a small price to pay to watch the Fosse-inspired choreography and Catherine Zeta-Jones' star turn as Velma Kelly. (DAN SAVAGE)
Confidence
At the risk of pointing out the obvious, every good con movie needs a good con. Unfortunately, Confidence is missing exactly that, inserting in its place yet another annoying performance by Dustin Hoffman. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
* The Core
The Core is not as bad as you have undoubtedly assumed. Seriously. Is it smart? Not really. Scientifically sound? Absolutely not. But what The Core does offer is a perfect example of mindless, escapist entertainment--the thrill of a summer blockbuster released in the spring. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Daddy Day Care
Is Eddie Murphy just too busy counting his money to read scripts? Or perhaps they're all just printed on hundred dollar bills. The once-great man hits us with yet another piece of middling excrement in the form of a Mr. Mom knock-off.
The Dancer Upstairs
As it slowly unfolds (key word: slowly), The Dancer Upstairs clearly paints itself as the kind of movie you want to like because of its high ambition. But unfortunately, after all the buildup, the loose ends are tied too quickly, and its hero's final sacrifice is too massive to be reconciled with the plot leading up to it. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Down With Love
With its retro setting and references, Down with Love not only manages to pay direct tribute to the kind of sex comedy Doris Day and Rock Hudson made memorable with Pillow Talk and Lover Come Back, but proves to be the most satisfying romantic comedy I've seen in--well, decades. (KATHLEEN WILSON)
Finding Nemo
See review this issue. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Woodinville 12
* The Good Thief
The Good Thief is based on the 1955 French classic Bob le Flambeur by Jean-Pierre Melville, whose assured direction and cash-poor location filmmaking are widely considered precursors to the French New Wave. Neil Jordan directs the remake as a sort of tribute to the stylings associated with later New Wave films, with effects like freeze-frame cuts that make you aware that you're watching a movie and a cast of actors for whom English is not the primary language, so the dialogue is also awkward and self-aware. Jordan is commenting on Melville's film as much as remaking it, so if you can see the original first, do so--but either way you should have a good time. (ANDY SPLETZER)
Holes
Based on the popular children's book by Louis Sachar, Holes is a family drama (starring Sigourney Weaver, Patricia Arquette, and Jon Voight) about kids in the chain gang.
House of a Thousand Corpses
First-time feature director Rob Zombie loads his debut with so many tricks of the music video trade, from split-screens to oversaturated video, the biggest shock is that he makes it work. There's even one murder sequence that's aesthetically beautiful and expertly executed (so to speak). The movie is a tribute to the straight-to-video slasher films from the '80s, where young adults are picked off one at a time. Zombie's film is more self-aware in its humor and its gore, which makes it better, but it ultimately errs on the side of setting up only four sacrificial lambs, and they're not enough to sustain the 88-minute running time. It starts to drag near the end, but fans of the genre should check it out anyway. The immoral of the story? Don't make fun of inbred-looking rednecks, particularly when they're putting on a Halloween talent show for you, because they'll likely kill you. (ANDY SPLETZER)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
The film is touching in those brief minutes when Kate Hudson and Matthew McConnaughey realize they might have feelings for each other, so long as the idiot soundtrack doesn't swell in and ruin the mood. (KATHLEEN WILSON)
Identity
When a film is as close to Psycho as Identity is, you hope it will bring something new to the table. Ah, well. Identity won't go down in history as the clever spin on Norman Bates it wants to be, but because it borrows so heavily from Hitchcock, it's not without some taut suspense. Some will enjoy the thrill-kill ride. Others will easily dodge the plot twists. No one, however, will escape the shrieking music cues. (SHANNON GEE)
The In-Laws
Albert Brooks slums along with Michael Douglas in this wickedly unnecessary remake of the classic 1979 Alan Arkin-Peter Falk kvetch-a-thon. The thing, however, is that I watched the original a week ago with an eye toward explaining why the remake is practically sacrilegious, and was dismayed to discover that it has aged about as well as mayonnaise on a countertop. Aside from Arkin's unstoppable brilliance and Falk's natural ease, there's little to recommend the film, which now feels slow, blocky, and obvious.
The Italian Job
See review this issue. Factoria, Oak Tree, Pacific Place, Redmond Town Center, Varsity, Woodinville 12
L'Auberge Espanole
See review this issue. Metro
The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Disney's impeccable live-action legacy continues with a big-screen version of the impossibly saccharine children's television series. It's sort of like watching television--but you know, real big. AND you get to pay for it!
* Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The film resonates so deeply, despite its potentially embarrassing fantasy trappings, because the filmmaker recognizes that violence and sacrifice are unavoidable aspects of the survival of civilizations. (SEAN NELSON)
Malibu's Most Wanted
The wigga son of a wealthy politician is introduced to C.O.M.P.T.O.N. by Juilliard-trained street thugs. Sensitive treatment of complicated racial stereotypes follows. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
A Man Apart
A Man Apart, which stars beefy Vin Diesel as a streetwise DEA agent who rolls with real niggaz, is to Traffic what crack is to cocaine--instead of matching or going beyond Traffic it soon dispenses with its noble concept, kicks into reverse, and returns to the old opera of cowboy vs. the others. America, the consumer, is ultimately Good; Mexico, the producer, is ultimately Bad. And to prevent the total corruption of what is at heart Good, the Good must relentlessly pursue and gun down the Bad. The Bad in this film is even called El Diablo. I rest my case. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Man On the Train
The French are a great people, with a great cinema; but when they stink, they really stink. This film is an utter waste of your time and mine. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Manic
Though any movie with Don Cheadle in it should be seen, this one strains the recommendatory muscles, as he plays a shrink in a juvie psych ward charged with tending to the loony ravings of a bunch of underfed teen actors. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Matrix: Reloaded
The Wachowski Brothers--two über-geeks, evidently, who surely concocted the entire Matrix universe whilst scheming in their parents' basement--have veered the series' storyline sharply this time around, as what appeared to be true in the elder sibling is not necessarily true in the younger, but even if the story is still massively underwhelming (at least to me--the Matrix obsessives will undoubtedly wet themselves, and God bless them for it), the sheer audacity the Wachowskis bring to the screen for Reloaded can only be described as brilliance. Like I stated before, you will see cool shit like you wouldn't believe--cool shit that makes the original Matrix look like The Ice Pirates--and whether you buy into the Wachowskis' massive tale or not, any film that shows you something you've never seen before--indeed, never dreamed possible, really--is worth the effort. There is art that moves you, and art that awes you. The Matrix Reloaded, despite its flaws, is the latter. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
A Mighty Wind
As with Christopher Guests' other films, Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, the results of A Mighty Wind are alternately hilarious and flat. So much of what makes these movies enjoyable rests on the rhythm of the improv, which is why the increasingly rigid formula is both troublesome and necessary: It's the skeleton that allows these world-class performers to let loose (Fred Willard once again steals the show). The problem is that it's become so familiar that, taken together, the three films feel like one long, predictable sketch. (SEAN NELSON)
* Nowhere in Africa
Nowhere in Africa follows a rich Jewish family that leaves Germany in 1938 and moves to Africa. There they can avoid the Nazis, but have to deal with some other issues like, oh, the lack of water. Naturally, the characters all experience guilt (you just can't have a Holocaust movie without guilt), but there are also things here you never see in any movie, such as the scene in which a swarm of locusts plunder a field of maize. The hazards of humanity and the hazards of nature are not dissimilar, this movie argues, though (at two and a half hours long) not very succinctly. Thankfully, the actor Merab Ninidze, who's very sexy, is in almost every scene. (CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE)
Old School
Here's a film that relies on a whole list of old clichés (marriage is a ball and chain; the school losers vs. the campus suits) to deliver comedy that's actually really funny in a dumb kind of way. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Owning Mahony
See review this issue. Metro
* Pistol Opera
Tall and dangerous, "Stray Cat" is a professional killer blasting her way into the hearts of those she meets along her journey to the top of the assassin food chain. This visually intoxicating thrill-ride will not disappoint fans of Suzuki's 1967 debut, Branded to Kill.
Pokémon Heroes
The fifth Pokémon feature, and the second that I've had to blurb up in the year's time I've been at this fine paper. They shit these things out faster than I can get myself fired--and that's saying something.
Raising Victor Vargas
Victor lives on the Lower East Side and has no worldly ambitions; all he has to speak of is a crush on Juicy Judy, who wears hoop earrings and too much makeup and thinks all guys are "dogs." Neither one of them has a phone at home, which suggests a rather improbable courtship, though they manage to run into each other enough times on neighborhood rooftops and at public swimming pools, and to the surprise of no one in the audience it all works out--each character (even among the overbearing and richly caricatured families) comes to a sensitive, deeper understanding of one another's longings and insecurities, which is a clean, comforting way to end a movie, but it's never how things turn out in life. (CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE)
What a Girl Wants
Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth, and Kelly Preston star in Girls Gone Wild: London Edition, in a film filed somewhere between "Coming of Age," "Fish Out of Water," and "Product Placement Opportunity."
Wrong Turn
Deliverance, with breast implants. Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Pacific Place, Redmond Town Center, Woodinville 12
* X2: X-Men United
The screenplay, by Michael Dougherty and Daniel Harris, is great; it would have been disastrous for the filmmakers not to rely on it. Forgoing excessive sweaty violence for richly imaginative narrative, X2's world is brought to life even more spectacularly than the first X-Men film, with very human elements of persecution, morality, and acceptance. (JULIANNE SHEPHERD)
