COMING SOON

Autumn in New York, Bless the Child, Eyes of Tammy Faye, The Opportunists, The Replacements, The Tao of Steve, The Woman Chaser


NEW THIS WEEK

*The Beaver Trilogy
Sun Aug 6; see review this issue. Little Theatre

Coyote Ugly
Opens Fri Aug 4; see Stranger Suggests. Metro

*The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
Just in time for the '70s revival comes this cheeky and delightful send-up of middle-class modes. The Discreet Charm... is surrealism as shaggy-dog story, but not quite Surrealism Lite. Like Mark Twain--another funny guy--Buñuel's humor, even at its gentlest, still bites. If you enjoy laughing at yourself (ah yes, my friend, you too are bourgeois), you won't find a better classic than this film. One question, though: How is it that Fernando Rey, Delphine Seyrig, and the amazing Stéphane Audran are so glamorous wearing the same clothes that made the rest of us look like rumpled idiots? (Barley Blair) Opens Fri Aug 4. Egyptian

Emporte-Moi (Set Me Free)
Opens Fri Aug 4; see review this issue. Varsity Calendar

Field of Dreams
Of Kevin Costner's Field of Dreams, IMDB user "Adam" proclaims: "I was so tired when I watched this film, yet I managed to remain wide awake throughout." Thank you, "Adam." Located under the Aurora Bridge in the Adobe parking lot. Jet City Improv returns next week. Fri Aug 4. Fremont Friday Night Outdoor Movies

Funny Old Films
Hokum Hall presents this summer series of lighthearted silent films with live musical accompaniment by the Wurlitzer Hope-Jones Unit Orchestra, hosted by Professor Hokum W. Jeebs. This week includes the quiet hilarity of The Lunch Hound (1927), animated by Walter Lantz of Woody Woodpecker fame, and Mickie's Nine (1928), which actually features a villain named "Stinky Davis." Hokum Hall

The Girl Can't Help It
Was director Frank Tashlin a surreal satirist or a good gag man who cared less for character observation than anything-goes laughs? Was it cruel of him to make Jayne Mansfield the butt of so many jokes in The Girl Can't Help It aimed at her breasts? After all, was any other star more bemusedly aware of her own cartoonish sexuality? Are the exploding milk bottles really funny? Do the numerous musical numbers (Fats Domino, Abbey Lincoln) fit in with the story? My answers, respectively, are: the latter; yes; Jane Russell; yes; and no, but who cares? Though by all means you should go and decide for yourself. (Bruce Reid) Fri-Sat Aug 4-5. Grand Illusion

The Hollow Man
News flash: Kevin Bacon has become transparent! It's a good thing fetishist Elisabeth Shue is on hand with the liquid latex! Opens Fri Aug 4. Neptune

L'Humanité
Opens Fri Aug 4; see review this issue. Grand Illusion

Kelly Loves Tony
A documentary following Kelly and Tony, two young Laotians struggling to reconcile the gap between American cultural freedoms and traditional and familial restrictions. Shown as the first installment of the First Fridays series. Fri Aug 4. Wing Luke Asian Museum

Mad About Mambo
Keri Russell stars in this shamelessly derivative knock-off of two earlier works in the dance-anger genre, So Pissed About Salsa and Totally Incensed About Tango. Varsity

Paradise Lost
The makers of the superlative Brother's Keeper give us another excellent document, this time focusing on the trial of three teenage metalheads in rural Arkansas accused of murdering three little children. But the true horror examined in this documentary is the legal system's facile treatment of youth, and the easily manipulated attitude of a small Southern town. Branded "witches" for their black-suited demeanor and interest in Alistair Crowley, the purported killers--one of whom is unfortunately named Damien--are tragically overwhelmed by the unconscious, rote mechanics of The System. Biggest surprise of all: Music donated by Metallica. (Jamie Hook) Wed Aug 9. Little Theatre

*Rollerball
Norman Jewison's eerily prophetic, anti-corporate sci-fi classic depicts the bleak future awaiting all humanity, and may be the best evocation of American Sports ever put on film. Starring Jimmy Caan! Plays as part of Linda's Summer Movies, where the beer in your hand helps cover up the holes on the screen. Wed Aug 9. Linda's Tavern

Rubin and Ed
Sat Aug 5; see review this issue. Fremont Outdoor Cinema

Saving Grace
Opens Fri Aug 4; see review this issue. Guild 45th

Space Cowboys
Opens Fri Aug 4; see review this issue. Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

The Talk of the Town
There has always been a tendency to consider The Talk of the Town one of the spry, enjoyable entertainments George Stevens made before his films became bloated and ridiculous, but in fact it's as overlong and smugly tendentious as his worst work. (The exasperating breathless frenzy of Jean Arthur doesn't help things either.) As the decent worker framed for arson and murder, Cary Grant carries himself with an agreeable cocksureness; but he's inexplicably kept in hinding behind Arthur and Ronald Colman, who's as urbane and understated as ever, and still the poor man's Grant for all that. Thurs Aug 3. (Bruce Reid) Seattle Art Museum

THIN TO FAT
2nd Avenue Pizza's summer mini-festivals continue with this delightful series tracking the metamorphoses of some of Hollywood's biggest stars. The Marlon Brando program begins with the relatively healthy (if a bit doughy) physique of 1954's On the Waterfront and concludes with the huge ass of 1979's Apocalypse Now. The horror, indeed. Thurs-Sun Aug 3-5. 2nd Avenue Pizza

*Warhol Shorts
Two double-screen shorts, Outer and Inner Space and Poor Little Rich Girl, shot by Warhol in 1965-66. Starting the program is one reel of Screen Tests, a compilation of spontaneous five-minute interviews with whomever happened to be around at the time, including Dennis Hopper. Fri Aug 4. Henry Art Gallery

*Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The sister cinema to the Fremont Outdoor Cinema, the West Seattle Walk-In features a purple-suited Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It's your standard story: Boy meets Chocolate Baron, Boy offends Chocolate Baron, Boy inherits Chocolate Factory. All this and Oompah-Loompahs too! With pre-show music from the Smilin' Scandinavians. Fri Aug 4. West Seattle Walk-In Cinema

*Winnie the Pooh
A non-commercial refuge from the voracious onslaught of summer cinema directed greedily at children, the Grand Illusion's Summer Children's Film Series is back for a fourth season. This week features three highly educational tales of the ambling, affable Winnie the Pooh and the assorted neuroses of his friends. Sat-Sun Aug 5-6 & Tues Aug 8. Grand Illusion

Wonderland
Opens Fri Aug 4; see review this issue. Metro


CONTINUING RUNS

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
Rocky's a flying squirrel, and Bullwinkle is a dumb moose, so you'd think they wouldn't stand a chance against some evil bad guys, but in cartoons the good guys always win--that's just in cartoons! (Sam Lachow) Lewis & Clark, Redmond Town Center, Uptown

Amazon
Sing that song, that river's LONG!! Omnidome

Big Momma's House
In this weak comedy, Martin Lawrence plays the good guy; Terrence Howard, from The Best Man, plays the bad guy; and Nia Long is the lover of a heartless bank robber. When she disappears, the FBI stakes out her grandmother's home, but when her grandmother is suddenly called out of town, Special Agent Martin Lawrence assumes her grandmother's role--her bed, her clothes, her big butt, her Southern drawl. (Charles Mudede) Lewis & Clark

*Breathless
If you've already seen your share of Scorsese's graphic mobster movies, check out this 35mm print of Jean-Luc Godard's Breathless (1959), a tribute to the American gangster flick, in which a small-time French gangster (Jean Paul Belmondo in his debut role) falls in love with an American journalist. (Bruce Reid) Little Theatre

But I'm a Cheerleader
Shorts director Jamie Babbitt's feature debut is a disappointment--strenuous stuff that seldom rises above frail, second-rate camp. There should be a few more inspired laughs in its tale of Megan (Natasha Lyonne), a top-notch student cheerleader thought to be lesbian who's sent to a camp where homosexuality is "cured." (Ray Pride) Broadway Market

Chicken Run
Chicken Run is about chickens trying to escape. It is very funny and exciting; each chicken has a great sense of humor and is weird. It all starts when Rocky the Chicken comes blasting over the fence and everybody thinks he can fly. Meanwhile, something fishy is going on--Mrs. Tweedy (the farmer's wife) has a machine that lets the chickens go in and pies come out. The chickens do whatever they can to resist becoming pies. (Sam Lachow & Maggie Brown) Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Chuck & Buck
Inviting his childhood friend to the funeral, Buck tries desperately to reconnect with Chuck in a desperate and perverse bathroom encounter. Spurned and chastised, Buck nevertheless sees the possibility of a rekindled relationship with Chuck, and so follows him to Los Angeles to begin an obsessive, haunted pursuit of his once best buddy. Miguel Arteta's gay-stalker romantic comedy is a film about identity, about self-image and comfort, about how our actions define us and how those definitions in turn make us act. A worthy centerpiece at the current banquet of independent film, Chuck & Buck is an excellent, original, subversive, and artistic film. (Jamie Hook) Broadway Market

Croupier
A bottle-blond exponent of God's lonely man takes a job in a private London casino and gets embroiled in some serious heist-related trouble. Mike Hodges, who directed the semi-obscure British new wave classic Get Carter, brings grace and severity to what could have just been neo-pulp. Instead, like the best pulp, Croupier becomes high lowbrow, thanks to a seasoned director's eye for detail, pneumatics, and sexy actors. (Sean Nelson) Broadway Market

Delicatessen
A circus of a film, starring an out-of-work clown and a nearsighted violinist. Directors Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro demonstrate a virtuosic flair with the camera and a fresh, irreverent wit in this cannibal farce that also commits the sacrilege of poking fun at French food. Starring a butcher only slightly less deranged than the one in I Stand Alone. Egyptian

Dinosaur
From the beginning of time, this has been the drama of the dinosaurs: They are oppressed by the mighty and terrifying Tyrannosaurus; they are always searching for water or a green paradise; and their big eggs are always eaten or crushed just moments before they hatch. (Charles Mudede) Admiral, Crest

Disney's The Kid
If you are a middle-aged, wealthy, white man, it's probable that the horrible things you've done to others during your ruthless climb to the top have caused you to suffer from a painfully abscessed guilt complex. To end your suffering, it will be necessary to either hire a professional dominatrix to flay the hide right off your miserable carcass or see Disney's The Kid, yet another switcheroo movie about an aging robber baron achieving redemption by literally massaging his inner child. (Tamara Paris) Aurora Cinema Grill, Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Metro

Dolphins
Be still my heart, them fish are SMART!! Pacific Science Center IMAX

The Eruption of Mount St. Helens
Jesum Crow, it's gonna BLOW!! Omnidome

Everest
My oh my, that rock is HIGH!! Pacific Science Center IMAX

Extreme
Is this a joke? If not, I'm STOKED!! Pacific Science Center IMAX

The Five Senses
Writer/director Jeremy Podeswa has placed a self-conscious title on an unselfconscious film, the virtues of which far exceed the formal detail referred to in the title. True, the masseuse, the man going deaf, the baker of cakes, the man with the sensitive sniffer, and the ophthalmologist account for each physical sense, but the film isn't about senses at all; it's about sensuality beyond the senses... a delicate, lovely portrayal of the spaces between people. (Evan Sult) Harvard Exit

Gladiator
Director Ridley Scott tramps through the standard gladiator movie plot like a tipsy party host, embracing each and every cliché like a dear old friend. War hero General Maximus (Russell Crowe) is stripped of his position by a scheming new Caesar. Escaping too late to save his family, Maximus falls into the hands of a slaver, and with the help of a former love and rough-but-likable gladiator pals, seeks his revenge by finding glory within the Coliseum. (Tom Spurgeon) Aurora Cinema Grill, Pacific Place 11, Varsity

Gone in 60 Seconds
To protect his little brother from an injurious limey, master car thief Nicolas Cage comes out of retirement, recruiting his old friends (Robert Duvall and Angelina Jolie among them) to help him steal 50 fancy cars in one night. The film is not actually good, but it's so much better than you expect it to be that it seems good, or feels good. (Sean Nelson) City Centre, Southcenter

*High Fidelity
A romantic comedy for guys. John Cusack plays the cynically introspective Rob Gordon, the owner of a small record store who, for various reasons, has shit luck with women. He's a jerk, basically, but he's not altogether clueless about his jerkiness. (Kathleen Wilson) Harvard Exit, Metro

The In Crowd
It's important for film scholars and fans alike to see all types of movies, but this will be the worst you'll see all year. Lower-class Adrien was sent to a psychological hospital for demolishing her high school guidance counselor's car with a hockey stick. She is befriended by Brittany, queen of the "in crowd," but soon learns wealthy people have problems too. The resolution hinges on the damning evidence of an everyday item: lip gloss. (S. R. Burford) City Centre, Redmond Town Center, Southcenter

Jesus' Son
This remarkable film is all about that sense of depth, or, more closely, the puzzle of depth. What Jesus' Son addresses at every moment, in every shot, is the great question of philosophy and literature: What makes existence both trivial and all-important? In the end, Jesus' Son beautifully captures the very twilight of life, that strange space humans occupy between the very small and the very large; between everything and nothing; between possible and impossible. (Charles Mudede) Metro

*The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg
Aviva Kempner's nostalgic love letter to '30s-'40s Jewish baseball player Hank Greenberg, who overcame prejudice to rock the big leagues. Crest

Loser
Small-towner Paul (Jason Biggs, the pie-fucking guy from American Pie) gets a scholarship to a New York City college where folks make fun of his silly hat. At school he falls for Dora (Mena Suvari, the rose-petal girl in American Beauty), who's busy shtupping her professor, but eventually... oh hell, it's a romantic comedy, what do you think happens? (Scott McGeath) Aurora Cinema Grill, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16

Me, Myself and Irene
Dildos, dog shit, the suffering of children and animals, physical disabilities, graphic violence, and Jim Carrey's rote performance beamed to the camera via satellite while he was taking a nap all conspire to make this a film that future generations will undoubtedly study as a sort of Rosetta stone of our cultural sicknesses. (Tamara Paris) Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Michael Jordan to the MAX
See basketball star Michael Jordan slap the wench & play the 'cordian! Seattle IMAX Dome Theatre

*Mission: Impossible 2
If I may paraphrase Walter Matthau (RIP) in JFK, criticizing the finer points of movies like Mission: Impossible 2--and yes, it does have finer points--is like picking gnat shit out of pepper. I loved this movie. I loved the profligate back flips in the fight choreography; I loved the preposterous motorcycle chase/ joust. But most of all, I loved the giddy sense of hyperbole and spectacle that coarsed through the whole enterprise. (Sean Nelson) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Mysteries of Egypt
Pyramids, tombs, sarcophogi... Egyptian culture is totally FLY!! Omnidome

Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps
Eddie Murphy deserves some kind of special award for playing six characters, all of whom interact with (and even perform oral sex on) one another, but the screenwriters deserve to be banished for all the lame gross-out jokes that litter the story. Whoever thought comedian Larry Miller being anally raped by a giant hamster would be a laugh riot needs to retire from the trade. With Janet Jackson as "something pretty to look at." (Bradley Steinbacher) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

The Patriot
Mel Gibson stars as Benjamin Martin, a sweet single father of seven (of course his wife is tragically dead) who refuses to enter the brewing Revolutionary War because of his troubled past. Outraged when son number two is gunned down by a nasty Brit, you know the Gib will soon be unpacking his deadly tomahawk in the name of "FREEEEEDOOOMMMM!" (Gillian G. Gaar) Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

The Perfect Storm
In its favor, The Perfect Storm has two superlatives: George Clooney and some fine, boiling seas. Unfortunately, the film itself--fraught with ham-fisted drama; painfully stupid dialogue; downright insulting characterizations; and some of the worst accent coaching ever--is awful. (Jamie Hook) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

Pokémon 2000
Pokémon 2000 revolves around a vaguely evil scientist on an island who's scheming to unleash the powers of various mystery pokémon on the world. He is ultimately thwarted by that plucky pokémon master-in-training, Ash (c'mon, you knew the bad guys wouldn't win, didn't you?). (Gillian G. Gaar) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

Scary Movie
Originally titled Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween, the only thing scary about this movie is the script. Though it certainly has some knee-slappers, most of the infantile jokes simply go on way too long. (Melody Moss) Meridian 16, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Shaft
John Singleton's Shaft is uninspired; it just pushes black macho beyond the limit of good taste and utility. The way Shaft brutally beats up the drug-dealing teenager with the butt of his gun, the way he calmly guns down the Latino gang members or nearly kills the judge with his badge--it's a little too much, you will agree. (Charles Mudede) Uptown

Shanghai Noon
Even the presence of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson can't save this revisionist Western action comedy from the musty odor of the second-rate. Wilson and his co-star are to be credited for occasionally rising above the material, but there are much better ways to spend a summer afternoon. (Tom Spurgeon) Crest, Uptown

Shower
Contrary to what the lady's bottom in the advertisement promises, Shower is populated almost exclusively by melancholic old men who predictably complain about youth and argue amongst themselves. Though not a particularly insightful or even original film, Shower is nonetheless satisfying. Wonderfully cast, well scripted, and lovingly filmed, Shower is comfort food for the cinema--bland, but soothing. (Jamie Hook) Seven Gables

Small Time Crooks
Woody Allen's 2000 entry is one of his unambitious, hoping-only-to-amuse movies. Too bad it's unoriginal, not very amusing, and a near waste of some of this world's greatest comic talent: Tracey Ullman, Elaine May, and Jon Lovitz. (Eric Fredericksen) Uptown

Sunshine
Sunshine is a long movie. It is about a prosperous and voluptuous Hungarian Jewish family's experience of the turbulent 20th century. In a word, it' s an epic with lots of sex: I think we see Ralph Fiennes' ass three times total. That's once an hour! (Charles Mudede) Crest

T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous
Damn it all, that lizard's TALL!! Pacific Science Center IMAX

Thomas and the Magic Railroad
What's so odd and disturbing about this putative children's film is that it can imagine no greater or nobler human endeavor than hard, unpleasant work. All right, no one gets sent off to hard labor, and it's not like there are signs hanging around reading "Arbeit macht frei"; but can't anybody, even a little blue steam engine, dream of doing more than just hauling coal around all day? (Bruce Reid) Aurora Cinema Grill, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Titan AE
Titan AE (After Earth) was about--well, we didn't exactly see it because our editor didn't tell us the right theater to go to for the press screening. Anyway, we think it's about the end of Earth and how humans survive in the galaxy, but we don't know what it's really about. From the commercial, the animation looks really cool; some things even look real. (Sam Lachow & Maggie Brown) Admiral

What Lies Beneath
A well-preserved pair of thoroughbred movie stars find that all is not well in their gorgeous New England home, what with the dead girl in the tub and all. The whole damn thing is ripped right out of the Hitchcock how-to manual, so of course it succeeds fantastically at its admittedly simple goal: scaring you so badly you throw your popcorn all over the people in the row behind you. (Tamara Paris) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Guild 45th, Meridian 16, Oak Tree

X-Men
X-Men is a modern comic book played completely straight. A respectful translation of this country's most popular comic book without elements of camp, knowing self-awareness, or nostalgia. While this may be great news for comic book fans, for everyone else the experience of watching X-Men will be like seeing a less-expensive Matrix Lite with inexplicably odd plot quirks. (Tom Spurgeon) Cinerama, Factoria, Metro, Northgate, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center