COMING SOON

Along Came a Spider, Beautiful Creatures, Blow, The Day I Became a Woman, The Dish, Josie & The Pussycats, Just Visiting, PokemĂłn 3, Spike and Mike's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation, Texas Rangers


NEW THIS WEEK

Adwa: An African Victory
The director of such films as Sankofa and Bush Mama, Ethiopian filmmaker Haile Gerima will attend the Friday premiere of his new film, which documents the Ethiopian resistance movement following the directives of the ill fated Berlin Conference. Fri-Sun. Langston Hughes Cultural Arts Center

Alice in Wonderland
An X-rated version of Lewis Carroll's classic, from the director of Flesh Gordon, this film ruins for all time the innocence of the phrase, "This one will make you grow taller." Fri-Sat. Grand Illusion

The Atlas Moth
Two-thirds bankrupt and wrapping production of their debut CD after unnecessary years in the making, things finally appear headed in the right direction for Minneapolis metal band Dark Horse. Yet unbelievably, the second account of Rolf Belgum's three years with Dan Cleveland and Dark Horse is more heartbreaking than the first. Moving past the easy comedy of failure to a closer examination of its subjects, The Atlas Moth (the title references bassist Sean Cassidy's hobby of breeding rare moths) uncovers all the frustration and doubt you hoped they had through Driver 23. If you watched and enjoyed last week's screening, Atlas Moth is the necessary conclusion. (Jason Pagano) Wed only. JBL Theater at EMP

Breakin'
A special screening of the 1984 breakdancing classic. Tues only. Sit & Spin

Chief Seattle
Sponsored by the Washington Commission for the Humanities, this screening of Seattle filmmaker B. J. Bullert's new documentary on Seattle's first and most famous fucked-over citizen will be hosted by none other than Cecile Hansen, descendent of the great hoodwinked one himself. Thurs March 29 only. Town Hall

*Chunking Express
See Stranger Suggests. Pineapples, lovesick cops, blond wigs, and the endless repetition of the Mamas and the Papas' "California Dreaming" make this film... well, brilliant. Opens Fri. Egyptian

*Close Up
See Stranger Suggests. Kiarostami bends the barriers of fiction and documentary in this brilliant, mind-boggling film. Mon-Thurs. Grand Illusion

*Concert of Wills
At the outset of their ambitious development of the new Getty Center in L.A., the trustees of the Getty foundation wisely commissioned the Maysles brothers' team (minus David Maysles, who died in 1987) to document the near-decade long process of building the Getty center. The result is this quite stunning film: a study in the creative process as it applies specifically to architecture. The Wills involved are primarily those of architect Richard Meier, a cantankerous genius; Getty Museum director John Walsh, an honorable pragmatist; and the surrounding, utterly despicable community of Brentwood. Never less than thrilling, Concert of Wills beats with (I can't believe I'm saying this) the frenzied pulse of architecture itself. (Eric Fredericksen) Thurs-Sun. Little Theatre

Faithless
Reviewed this issue. Ingmar Bergman won't die! The curmudgeonly octogenarian wrote this film and engineered its direction by his former lover, filmmaker Liv Ullmann. Opens Fri. Varsity Calendar

*Hands on a Hard Body
Each year, a Longview, Texas car dealership sponsors a promotional gimmick in which twenty-four contestants compete to win a brand-new hardbody pickup simply by remaining upright with one hand on the truck for the longest period of time. It's all mutual encouragement and goodwill until roughly the two-day mark, when the "nothing" in "something for nothing" is redefined as "a world of crippling physical and emotional pain." Much credit is due director S. R. Bindler, who turned two dozen rednecks willing to stand motionless around a shiny truck for days into a strange, hour-and-a-half examination of what really motivates. (Jason Pagano) Fri-Sun. Grand Illusion

Me You Them
Set in Northeastern Brazil--a poor, arid region that is hell to live in but photographs beautifully--this sweetly funny movie tells the story of a woman jilted on the church steps who ends up with not one husband but three. Regina Casé won the Brazilian Oscar for this role. Handsome rather than pretty, with big breasts, big jutting knees and elbows, a lantern jaw, and a hundred toothy, fetching smiles, she's voracious and yet winsome. Of her three husbands, the rich one, the handsome one, and the good one, I liked the good one best--he's a Bert Lahr look-alike. (Barley Blair) Opens Fri. Seven Gables

Memento
Reviewed this issue. If the Oscars fell on Backwards Day, this reverse-engineered thriller would doubtless sweep all categories. Opens Fri. Egyptian

Pirosmani
We may have Pollock, but the Soviet Union has Pirosmani, a biopic/documentary about the great Georgian folk painter. The Sunday show will be introduced by Galya Diment of the UW's Dept. of Slavic Languages and Literature. Sat-Sun. Grand Illusion

Someone Like You
If cuteness becomes a commodity, Ashley Judd will become an enormous, publicly-traded, multinational corporation. Please think twice before you go see this film. Opens Fri. Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree

Spy Kids
Fellow earthlings, I regret to inform you that even now as we speak, it is too late. Spy Kids is headed towards us like a juggernaut and only the childless have means of escaping. When a brother and sister set out to rescue their parents (played by Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino)--and, subsequently, the world--from a malignant army of robotic children, they simultaneously deliver us straight into the jaws of humanity's most lethal foe, consumerism. The jet-packs are corporate fueled. The adrenaline rushes are company sponsored. And as we leave, the advertisers wave goodnight as they wish us, and especially the children, many many sweet McDreams. (Suzy Lafferty) Opens Fri. Metro

*SUBlimina
The closing week of ConWorks' SUBlimina film series features the shorts Grandpa's Marijuana Handbook, in which an old codger instructs us in the pot-arts, and San Francisco filmmaker (and Stranger contributer) Caveh Zahedi's mushroom-induced short, I Was Possessed by God. I have seen the latter film: it is 20 of the strangest, most wonderful stuff yet put on video. It looks, to most of us, like the psychotropic ramblings of a cineaste--he rants a lot about Jean-Luc Godard--but Zahedi himself insists he was channeling the holy spirit. At any rate, you won't see anything like it again. Ever. So go. (Jamie Hook) Fri-Sun. Consolidated Works

The Tailor of Panama
Pierce Brosnan brings his lovely accent and developing paunch to this spy-thriller about, well... a tailor in Panama. Directed by everyone's secret favorite director John Boorman, the man who brought us the "squeal like a pig" scene from Deliverance. Opens Fri. Metro

Tomcats
Evidently, a lot of people have been missing the Porky's franchise. At least, that's the only explanation we can find for this slop-fest. Opens Fri. Metro


CONTINUING RUNS

15 Minutes
15 Minutes is a crime drama/cop buddy/social commentary that doesn't establish its muddled manifesto with anything like the sort of swiftness it employs in merely establishing itself as a bad movie. Witless cliché, cardboard acting, implausible plot--all are evident from the get go. This is writer/director John Herzfeld's second Hollywood movie (his first was Six Days in the Valley); still, it wouldn't be too radical at this stage to suggest that a public stoning lingers somewhere in this man's future. (Kudzai Mudede) Aurora Cinema Grill, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Before Night Falls
In Julian Schnabel's film, Before Night Falls, the life story of Cuban writer Reinaldo Arenas manages to be utterly straightforward despite the hallucinatory, incantatory style of his writing. Furthermore, it makes Arenas sound like a hack poet. And that, my friends should be a punishable crime. (Emily Hall) Broadway Market

*Best In Show
The latest from the folks who brought you Waiting for Guffman follows several dog owners on their quest for the blue ribbon at the 2000 Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. Dogs are always funny. (Jason Pagano) Broadway Market

*Billy Elliot
Granted, the story is unoriginal (a small town boy beats the odds and becomes a ballet dancer), but its setting (a working-class family struggling through the worst of the Thatcher years) disrupts the sleep of the tired narrative and unexpectedly, steadily, it comes to life. (Charles Mudede) Broadway Market, Majestic Bay

Blow Dry
The British Hair Federation decides to host its annual hair dressing competition in a town that just happens to be the home of a legendary hair-cutting virtuoso who scandalously lost his title years back. Blow Dry could top off a landfill with the carcasses of its failed jokes and the plot largely plagiarizes that of Strictly Ballroom. (Suzy Lafferty) Meridian 16, Metro

The Brothers
The Brothers is a coming of age comedy/drama about four successful young black men, coming to terms with commitment and adult relationships, a sort of Waiting to Exhale for men. I will, however, vindicate this film, if only because seeing four black men in the same place at the same time is such a novelty in the Northwest. (Kudzai Mudede) Lewis & Clark, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Cast Away
Cast Away takes lurid delight in cataloging the various losses that accrue upon once-wealthy FedEx international systems supervisor Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) after a freak plane crash strands him somewhere in the South Pacific. The stupid simplicity with which Hanks is shown crafting his world so utterly subverts any but the most priapic observations that one comes away from the film feeling a trifle molested. (Jamie Hook) Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Caveman's Valentine
Caveman's Valentine is about a madman named Romulus Ledbetter (Samuel L. Jackson) who lives in a cave in Central Park. A classical whodunit, set in the decadent sphere of New York's art elite. The process of solving a murder mystery leads not only to the person who committed the murder, but more importantly to a warm, glowing place where the mad father is finally forgiven by his bitter daughter. (Charles Mudede) Meridian 16

Chocolat
My straightforward review will open with a detailed plot summary ("The movie is about a French village whose serenity is shattered by a mysterious woman who moves into town with her illegitimate daughter and opens a sexy chocolate store."), and then state the truth ("The movie is unremarkable!"). (Charles Mudede) Aurora Cinema Grill, Guild 45th, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

*Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
The film is an attempt to wed emotionally reticent drama with the exhilarating freedom of Hong Kong-genre filmmaking, but director Ang Lee can't quite pull off the combination. The film finds its rhythm and earns the accolades it has received once it leaves the stars behind and gives its heart over to the young and engaging Zhang Ziyi. (Bruce Reid) Aurora Cinema Grill, Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Neptune, Uptown

Down to Earth
A black bike messenger (Chris Rock) is suddenly killed by a truck and goes up to heaven. The angels, who look like Mafia hit men, realize that the death was premature, and so return the brother back to earth in a body once owned by a white billionaire. With this white, bloated body he must win the heart of a beautiful soul sister from the hood. Need I say more? Simply amazing. (Charles Mudede) Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Enemy at the Gates
Enemy at the Gates is the story of a Russian World War II sniper (Jude Law) and the German sniper (Ed Harris) who is sent to eliminate him. When the dueling snipers embark on a cat-and-mouse chase to assassinate each other, the movie becomes genuinely exciting. And if the film is at times rather silly... well, it's from Britain and its a minor miracle that they even have running water out there let alone significant movies. (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Exit Wounds
Exit Wounds tells the story of how Steven Seagal, with the help of rapper DMX, cleans up a corrupt police precinct one bad cop and unattended jelly donut at a time. Unfortunately for DMX, however, the chemistry between Steven Seagal and any actor will always result in the organic compound that I like to refer to as shit, and really that's no fun to watch at all. (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Northgate

Finding Forrester
A kid from the Bronx excels at both basketball and composition, befriends a hermit writer, undergoes a crisis from which the writer must extract him, thereby helping the writer overcome his own reclusive blah blah blah. (Barley Blair) Meridian 16

Get Over It
Yet another reminder that while the youth of those pesky Third-World contenders to America's world dominance prepare themselves with nuclear physics, political sciences, and developmental economics, our kids are just happily a-fuckin' in the bushes like there's no tomorrow. This time around said reminder comes in the form of a "laugh-a-minute-ride" with some plot about a young man getting dumped by his girlfriend and then falling for his best friend's sister. The truth is it's not actually too bad if you like this sort of thing. (Kudzai Mudede) Pacific Place 11

Hannibal
Hannibal is a mess; an overblown, audacious, painstakingly long, gratuitous mess. Hannibal Lecter in his second outing is an annoying little old man, the sort you'd just love to push down a flight of stairs. Worse still he's a limey, a fish-and-chip-worshiping limey! That the man has killed over 15 Americans isn't a case for the fucking F.B.I.; it's a case for Immigration! (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

Heartbreakers
Part of the premise for the movie Heartbreakers, in which Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt play a mother-and-daughter con team, is a fervent understanding that men will screw women over, and that women must beat those suckers at their own petty game. Heartbreakers is certainly amusing, but its unimaginative approach will disappoint viewers who want to feel the wicked cinch of the complex con. (Traci Vogel) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

The House of Mirth
British director Terence Davies' The House of Mirth, starring Gillian Anderson and Dan Aykroyd, adapts Edith Wharton's 1905 novel about New York high society--the tragic story of a beautiful young woman looking to marry a rich husband and finding herself torn between her need for financial security and her desire for personal integrity. (Caveh Zahedi) Metro

The Mexican
This movie was never meant to be a singular entity: It feels like two movies, hemorrhaged by nature, that have been forcefully welded together. The first of these movies is The Mexican--it features Brad Pitt, an antique gun, and the Mob. Secondly, there is what I will call National Lampoon's Seventh Circle of Hell--it stars Julia Roberts, a green V.W., and a sensitive hitman. It is a disgrace and Julia Roberts' performance is criminal. (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Majestic Bay, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

*O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Set in Depression-era Mississippi, George Clooney stars as Everett Ulysses McGill, a suave and well-groomed petty criminal doing hard time on a chain gang. Shackled to Pete (John Turturro) and Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson), he convinces them to join him in escaping by promising to split a fortune in buried treasure. (Andy Spletzer) Factoria, Harvard Exit, Redmond Town Center

Pollock
This is actor Ed Harris' directorial debut (he also stars), and he seems in too big a hurry to establish the iconic events of painter Jackson Pollock's life--see Pollock urinate in Peggy Guggenheim's fireplace, see Pollock overturn the Thanksgiving table, see Pollock accidentally discover drip painting--without letting any of these moments achieve any natural resolution. (Emily Hall) Guild 45th, Pacific Place 11

Quills
Quills seeks to rehabilitate the Marquis de Sade's image into that of Brave Soldier in the Noble Battle against Hypocrisy. Which not only flattens and dulls the film's subject, it also makes for one hell of a hypocritical movie in its own right. (Bruce Reid) Pacific Place 11

Recess: School's Out
I loved the movie Recess: School's Out. It is full of exciting and hilarious scenes. It's funny because in the movie (and in the TV show), everybody does the same thing at recess. For example, there is a King of Recess, there are kids that dig holes, and the kindergartners always run around doing pesky stuff. I advise people to go to this movie. (Sam Lachow, age 10) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

Requiem For a Dream
In Requiem for a Dream (based on the Hubert Selby Jr. novel of the same name, about the downward spiral of a trio of Brooklyn junkies), Darren Aronofsky opts to assault us with self-righteous imagery masquerading as some sort of daring bohemian technique. In the end, Requiem for a Dream comes off as so much high-school posturing: puerile; craven; and, in hindsight, embarrassingly tacky. (Jamie Hook) Broadway Market

Say It Isn't So
Produced by Bobby Farelly, this film, it seems, has absolutely no idea of what made previous gross-out comedies successful, which was to some extent a surreal lack of resonance that surrounded extreme absurdities and allowed them to co-exist seamlessly with a movie's landscape, though more importantly, absurdities that were actually original and funny. The grotesqueries here manage to simply revolt. (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Southcenter

See Spot Run
See Spot Run was a great movie about a dog named Agent 11 who was trained by the F.B.I. since he was a puppy. Agent 11 is trying to catch these bad Mafia guys. The head Mafia guy hires these two other Mafia guys to kill Agent 11, but he escapes and winds up staying with the main character played by David Arquette. (Maggie Brown, age 10) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Oak Tree

*Shadow of the Vampire
E. Elias Merhige's Shadow of the Vampire revisits the set of film director F. W. Murnau's 1922 horror classic Nosferatu to tell an imagined story of Murnau (John Malkovich) and his obscure star Max Schreck (played brilliantly by Willem Dafoe). Full of charm and whimsy, the film walks a subtle tightrope between creepiness and hilarity. (Caveh Zahedi) Metro

Snatch
I remember reading that after he saw a screening of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels in London, Tom Cruise leapt to his feet and screamed, "This movie rocks!" I'm sure he'll probably scream the same thing about Snatch. So, there you go. If you liked Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, you're gonna like Snatch. (Bradley Steinbacher) Meridian 16, Metro

*State and Main
A Hollywood film crew descends on a small Vermont town to make a movie, bringing their sophisticated mores with them. David Mamet has said that he was thinking of Preston Sturges when he put this film together, and it's a worthy successor to the Master. (Barley Blair) Pacific Place 11

Too Much Sleep
A night watchman must enter the suburban ghost-world of New Jersey in order to find his stolen gun. Of course, this being a "quirky" American independent film, he meets all manner of urban eccentrics, and eventually sleeps with a requisite pretty woman. Other than that, this film has nothing, absolutely nothing. Watching it is like having the inside of your skull scraped out by a tribe of monkeys, all of whom are retarded. Avoid. (Jamie Hook) Uptown

Traffic
The big message in Traffic is perfectly laid-out by its tagline: "Nobody gets away clean." All the flashy directorial touches and sterling performances in the world can't cover the fact that Traffic is just another example of Hollywood tackling a complex problem with the simplest and most conservative of solutions. (Bradley Steinbacher) Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Varsity

The Widow of Saint-Pierre
In 1849, on Saint-Pierre, a French-ruled island off the Newfoundland coast, a sailor, after getting drunk and killing a man as a kind of stupid prank, is sentenced to death by guillotine. And the nearest one is far to the south. While waiting for it to arrive, Neel is taken under the wing of "Madame La" Pauline (Juliette Binoche) and a kind of love grows not only between them, but between Neel and the community, as well. You couldn't ask for a more ready-made parable (based on the historical record, yet) of the horror of the death penalty, the inhuman machinery of the state, and the grandeur of the human spirit. (Richard T. Jameson) Harvard Exit

*You Can Count on Me
In Kenneth Lonergan's You Can Count on Me, "adult" and "sadness" and "American" become a knot of synonyms as the story focuses on the pure inability a brother and sister have with one another now that they're adults. It's as though being an adult, and a member of a grownup American family, is the path of loneliness and sadness. (Paula Gilovich) Broadway Market