Word Dojo is a touchscreen game of extremely modest aspirations. It's one part Boggle, one part Tetris, and one part Mortal Kombat. Well, maybe not Mortal Kombat. But it's set in a dojo, for God knows what reason, and perhaps there's some as yet unrealized bonus round involving hand-to-hand fighting. So far I've only found the one involving the same freeform Boggle action that makes the rest of the game so damn addictive.

Here's how it works: You feed the Megatouch 2005.5 machine a dollar, and it gives you a dizzying array of options. Ignore the erotic picture games, just say no to stupid trivia games, and click on the "word games" icon. Word Dojo costs 25¢ (a quarter! like an old-school arcade game! amazing!) and begins with the supposedly intimidating slash of a samurai sword.

You face a mess of letters, with perhaps a gold bonus ball scattered here and there among them, while new letter discs fall continually from the ceiling of the dojo. You spell words, three to 12 characters in length, and click the enter key to make the letters disappear. Slang is fine, plurals are forbidden, offensive cuss words are suspect, and technical terms are usually good (CUNT is impermissible, for example, but LABIA is a great option for using up vowels). The letters must touch one another, but need not be sequential. For example, if you see the letters MITE in a row along the top of the pile, you could spell MITE, but also T-I-M- and then jump back over to the E for TIME, or ITEM (EMIT would not be accepted). Just like in Boggle, you can turn corners but you can't play the same letter twice. There are two regular rounds (divided by a hilarious fire effect) plus a bonus round that you'll reach if you aren't completely incompetent, and there may or may not be some trick with the lantern in the corner that lets you slow down time.

But none of this communicates the sheer addictive joy of the game. Word Dojo is brilliant! Word Dojo is bliss! Word Dojo relieves stress better than yoga! Word Dojo is also very good for first dates—the screen is wide enough for two people to play simultaneously, and in just a few cozy minutes you can determine whether your prospective mate is an orthographical idiot or genius. Pronouncing the name of the game out loud makes you sound like a total dork, but whom are you kidding? No one but a dork would play word games in a bar anyway.

If you want to be stealthy about the nature of your impending addiction, you always have the option of calling the game "touch-crack," as it is known in certain circles. This nickname has the virtue of sounding very, very dirty, which will either impress people or intimidate them into not asking further questions.