Excellent

LITTLE ORPHAN ANI

TYLENOL TALENT

STUPID BLOODY STUPID!

Interview

All the News That Didn't Fit

On the Record

The Olympia Connection, Or Lack Thereof

Excellent

The Numbness Is Just a Bonus

Hiphop City

WEEN ARE THE WORLD

Soul by the Pound

EXCELLENT REAL ROCK QUOTES

Incest is Best

The Rise and Fall of the N-Word

DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say, Tell the Truth Anyway

You Don't Own Me

Summer Lovin'

Stagger Lee

Music to Lose Your Job By

Boy, You Sure Can Take the Fun Out of Music

CINEMATIC CLICHE

Stuart Braithwaite From Mogwai

Going to New York City?

THE CHURCH OF COLTRANE

A Whole N'other Level

Who Says Morrissey Fans Don't Get Laid?

ISSA ROCKA ROLL

Not Modest Enough

Okay, I was obsessive about Sinead O'Connor. I have always loved her music, and as an avid collector, I would buy anything — regardless of price — just to own one more note of her voice.

Sinead releases about 200 different songs a year, guesting with other artists — backing up some, dueting with others — and I'll be damned if I ever hear about any of these songs at my local record shop, where if you don't like the sounds of techno, or Tortoise, you're looked upon with the same disdain as if you let out an explosive fart when you walked in the door. All this because you're simply asking for the latest release featuring Sinead.

That's why I joined Sinead's mailing list, Jump in the River (jitr), about a year ago, hoping to find out about recent and upcoming releases without torturing the local record shop wanks. At first this was exactly what I got — all sorts of info on new and past releases I had no idea existed, as well as little tidbits on recent tours, set lists, news articles found on the web, and descriptions of everything from what she sang to what she wore while appearing on British TV. Truly a fan's delight! However, it all went so wrong.

What I got was too much information, and the discovery of what being a "fan" of Sinead is all about. It left such a bad taste in my mouth that not only have I left the list, but I've stopped collecting Sinead altogether. I feel robbed.

Here is that story, the falling out of a true fan, as told through the e-mails on the list from the last few months. All the e-mail names have been changed to protect the guilty, and the bad English has been left intact.

SUBJECT: BUBBLEGUM AND DUSTY

From: Gustavo
Subject: Sinead's bubble gum
HI.
I found on a marketplace a "compact disc bubble gum." It's 1.5 oz of bubble cd in a cd case with cd sleeve, etc. Really fun. Got a lot of artists. Of course I choose the one with our great lady but with a nickname: ''SHE NEEDS hair O'CONNER.'' The tracks are: "No Gum in My Hair," "Nothing Compares to Chew," "Chew Me Up and Spit Me Out," and many others. Great for collectors! Don't miss it.
* * *
Oh joy, Guz! Thanks for sharing! This was the beginning. Gustavo had just joined the list, and he started mailing weird crap like this every day. The responses were generally kind. Usually "LOL" (laughing out loud) or the friendly "Cheers, Guz, aren't you lucky!" Most of the time I would just delete the message. I'm not the type of person to respond to this sort of thing; if someone were to send me a mass e-mail of a joke, for instance, I usually like to send out a terse reply, like, "Don't fuck with me. I hate this shit. Stop sending it to me!" But on a list there is etiquette to think of, so if you don't like it just D&D (disregard and delete).
* * *
From: Mars-L
Subject: Dusty Springfield died
Hello,
Just got the message Dusty Springfield died yesterday.
She died on breast cancer.
* * *
Mars-L is sort of the King Shit of Sinead fans. He runs the most comprehensive website dedicated to Sinead, and usually has all the info about new releases first. This was a rare non-Sinead post.
* * *
From: Gogobooty
Subject: Re: Dusty Springfield died
THIS IS SAD, SAD NEWS.
Dusty was one cool go-go-boots-wearing singing chick and she has influenced a lot people who came after her. (One of my faves, Elvis Costello, WORSHIPS her.) I have the "dusty in memphis" cd and she ROCKS I need more. Breast cancer is just plain evil.
* * *
From: Gogobooty
Subject: dusty's contributions not only was ms dusty a cool-ass-gogoboots-wearing singer chick that almost everyone likes, she was also a very OUT integrationist. she embraced black, music & black people in the 60s when it was NOT cool. she refused to play segregated shows in south africa. she was BRAVE and groovy. she had big hair & big eyelashes & a great voice. R*I*P*
* * *
Who didn't refuse to play South Africa? Do we need to hear more? Could we please talk about Sinead here and not bubblegum or Dusty Springfield?
* * *
From: Bruno
Subject: Re: Dusty Springfield died
It's a very sad new.
* * *
That about sums it up.

SUBJECT: SIMILARITIES AND THE SHIT HITS THE FAN

From: Mandy
Subject: Similarities
I think Sinead with longer hair — a la Gospel Oak tour — gives her a stunning resemblance to Anne Parillaudanyone else agree?
* * *
Do you think I give a poop about whether or not Sinead has any similarity to a French actress? No. But of course it's always these lame posts which generate the most interest on the list. Part of me wonders: Who are these people? Gay/straight, male/female? Some lists send out a welcome e-mail at the beginning that tells you to send out general info about yourself. But this list is highly paranoid. Once someone mentioned that he thought someone else on the list was gay, so he asked that listee. I felt sorry for that poor sucker after other listees finished with the questioner. They yelled and screamed, "WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW? WHAT DOES IT MATTER? HOW DARE YOU ASK? FASCIST!" Yikes! Guess I'll tread lightly.
* * *
From: Jo
Subject: Re: Similarities
who?
* * *
From: Bruno AUTIN
Subject: Re: Similarities
Anne Pirillaud is a french actress, she was Luc Besson's wife. She played in NIKITA (the original french movie, not the US version)
* * *
From: Mandy
Subject: RE: Similarities
Does anyone else agree with me?
* * *
Apparently not, Mandy.
* * *
From: Enzo
Subject: Woman's Day
Hi JITRs,
today is the Woman's Day. So best wishes to all the WOMEN specially to Siniad.
* * *
From: Mars-L
Subject: womansday
Hello,
It's now the day after woman's day, so I can beat-up my girlfriend again? I don't get those special day effects. Why a womans, mothers, secretary, nurses, etc. day? Shouldn't we respect and love all humans 364 days a year, 24 hours a day. Woman or not?
A likewise statement almost costed me my head about a year ago, but IMO those special days are infact "discrimination" of these groups. (okay positive discrimination, whatever that may be)
* * *
Whoa, Mars-L. Take it easy there buddy, we're all friends here. Even the chicks.
* * *
From: Gogobooty
Subject: Re: womansday
hi marcel & all — -women are still the most oppressed faction of people in the world. For example, look at countries like Afghanistan, which is ruled now by the taliban, extremist muslim zealots who stone women for leaving their homes without a man to accompany them or for going out unveiled. in india women who are no longer wanted as wives are burned alive. in many african nations women's genitals are mutilated to make them more "marriageable." even in "advanced" nations like the USA women do a disproportionate amount of work inside the home in addition to jobs outside the home. women's day is meant to just ACKNOWLEDGE women for all they do in this "man's world". in the US there is NO celebration of this day (except in berkeley, i think!) so cheers to all the women of the list (a day late) and remember to keep the faith, sisters! also i am sad to see stanley kubrick died. i really love "lolita" and count it in my top ten films of all time. dusty springfield, stanley & joe di maggio — the trio of celebrity deaths is complete for the week.
* * *
Okay, so, first of all — yada, yada, yada. Is this about Sinead here? And what the hell does that last blurb mean, anyway? Trio of celebrity deaths? Wiccan!
* * *
From: Zhanet
Subject: sinead is vegeterian
Hi there,
Don't know whether it's been posted ever but I just found out that sinead is vegetarian!
* * *
I was fascinated by Zhanet at first. Zhanet is from Kazakstan. That's one of the interesting things about these lists: You find out just how internationally famous your fave pop star really is. How did she even find out about Sinead in Kazakstan? Of course, how'd she get a computer? And you'd think it'd be pricey to sign on to an e-mail list in a country so impoverished at the moment. Zhanet, however, appears to spend her time on weightier questions, such as "Is Sinead a vegetarian?"
* * *
From: Ossi
Subject: Sinead is vegetarian??
There is a picture on Mars-l's page where she's sitting in McDonalds and putting a big hamburger in her mouth. Maybe she has stopped eating meat after that, but at least using pots and wheats doesn't make her a vegetarian. Of course it could also be a Bean burger. So I checked the picture: there is clearly beef inside the burger.
* * *
Tell me something I want to know. PLEASE?
* * *
From: Christian
Subject: Roisin
from the irish times today!!!!!
HEADLINE: Singer gives up custody battle Irish singer Sinead O'Connor will grant her former companion, John Waters, custody of their daughter, Roisin, two.
* * *
Holy shit! NEWS! I had no idea this was going on. I wasn't the only person who cared.
* * *
From: Wayne
Subject: WHAT????????
I can't believe the news about Sinead's daughter. I'm shocked that Sinead would give up her 2 year old daughter. I know her personal life really isn't our business, but I just can't believe that she would ever do something like that, no matter what the circumstances. I'm just so shocked.
* * *
From: Lizelle
Subject: FW: WHAT????????
I couldn't agree with you more. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I have always believed that for the first 10 or so years of a child's life, it is healthier for him/her to be with their mother. (under normal circumstances, off course). But as Wayne said, what she does in her personal life has nothing to do with us. It is her life, her child, and her decision.
* * *
"For the first 10 or so years of a child's life, it is healthier for him/her to be with their mother." You're fucking right you're old fashioned, and wrong, and an idiot!
* * *
From: Zhanet
Subject: custody-surpise!
Sinead is ever surprising — you'll never know what will she do as a next action! Actually the circumstances should be pretty heavy to make such decision! Hope she done it with clear conscience and will sleep in peace.
P.S: Yesterday was St. Patrick's day on asian channel V almost all day were played irish bands — and I can assure you almost best videos of Sinead were played as well — unfortunately my video was not working to make records — what a bad luck.
* * *
From: Zhanet
Subject: coinside
The moment I received message about custody — I was listening to "My Special Child" cd single. Weird isn't?

SUBJECT: THE PLOT THICKENS

From: Lion Cobra
Subject: It's sad
The thing about her daughter is sad frankly with no disrespect to Sinead but she said she would do anyting to get her back, apparently not, right? I always thought Sinead was stronger than that. We can't govern her life, it's her choice. Considering what she's done since 87-92 — why didn't she stick to her words on her daughter?
But maybe something good will come from this, musically. Lets hope so. I'm sure she's writing away on it now. With these sad occurrences will come good music.
* * *
From: Steve
Subject: Re: It's sad
If you mean by this statement that you want to hear some more hard edge songs that show raw emotion, anger, and vocal range, I agree 100%. I really miss songs like "Mandinka" and "Troy," when she let her emotions out and expressed that awesome vocal range. I love her soft songs but I really hope her new cd has some of the style of her old stuff. The Lion and The Cobra is still her best cd and I wish she wouldn't run away from the style that made her so unique.
* * *
Geez, let's hope Sinead has more tragedy and problems! It can only make her a better musician, right? And she should just give up trying to evolve stylistically, and stick with her stuff from the late '80s! What are these guys thinking? Do they honestly believe that the best writing comes from tragedy? Have they ever heard the Carpenters' "Close to You"?
I was beginning to feel sorry for Sinead for having fans like the listees — people who criticize her no matter what she does. But in my mind questions still loomed: Why did she have a baby with this guy in the first place? Why did she just give up, and on Mother's Day, no less? And most importantly, when does that new CD come out, dammit?!
* * *
From: Papaioanou
Subject: Re: It's sad
Sinead should just call it quits and blow her face off like Cobain. Then we can buy pieces of her face off ebay. What's the starting bid?
* * *
To: Papaioanou
Subject: offensive comment
Offensive comments like that deserve no response except f*** off. Reply to me by all means but keep it off the list. It's a waste of people's time reading crap.
* * *
Here's a person who can't even write a swear word out! She should be the one to f*** off. What I imagine Papaioanou is trying to say is that he can't believe Sinead would just give up on her daughter's life. He's also making a statement about the extortion of fans on E-bay. Somebody here needs some therapy! But who?
* * *
From: Oonasoul
Subject: Re: offensive comment this last one DEFINITELY takes the cake for least worthy of our attention. I don't see how anyone who claims to be a fan could make such a statement, even if they are (as you probably will try to cover your ass) "kidding". Go establish yourself as a feeling human before we are subject to hear from you again! please!!!!!!!
* * *
Wow. And I thought the old "I am rubber you are glue" comeback was good! * * *
From: sarah
Subject: Re: offensive comment
I second the motion. What kind of lowlife says such a thing? I pray we don't have another pathetic attention seeker amongst us. In regard to Sinead giving up custody of her baby I would only say that I wish there was some small way I could send some comfort to Sinead. I'm sure that many on the list feel the same way. I'm sure that many have been comforted by her music too. We'll just have to focus our positive energies in Sinead's direction.

SUBJECT: SUICIDE ATTEMPT

HEADLINE: Sinead O'Connor Death Bid
"Sinead O'Connor tried to kill herself last week after a row over custody of her three-year-old daughter, Roisin. The singer is understood to have taken 20 Valium tablets and three glasses of vodka in a Dublin hotel after a meeting with Roisin's father. She told friends that she passed out for up to 36 hours, and described the experience as 'pretty horrific'"
* * *
We are nearing the straw that broke this camel's back. I've known a lot of therapy wonks in my time. You know, the kind of people who do stupid stuff and then tells everyone, "Hey, I just did something stupid!" so they can garner your attention and get some intervening "help" from their friends and family. But this has to take the cake. The woman sent out a press release saying, "I tried to commit suicide!" and she now expects the world to care for her needs.
* * *
From: Johnnie
Subject: Re: Sinead Suicide Attempt
Oh my God! I am so distressed about this. I hope and pray that our beloved Sinead is okay and that she doesn't fall into such a depression again. I don't know what I would do if Sinead had died last week. Her daughter means so much to her. She must be going through so much. I am so concerned by this, because if people don't get some sort of help they don't usually stop attempting to commit suicide after failing once. Look at Kurt Cobain, he tried to commit suicide several times before succeeding. We all need to pray that Sinead will get through this and not try to harm herself again.
* * *
From: Papaioanou
Subject: Re: Sinead Suicide Attempt
One Question: Where was her son while she was in the business of killing herself? Personally, I think she is an unfit mother and believe that she should now lose custody of Jake. I don't think it's healthy for an 11 year old boy to live with a suicidal mother. The state should move in and take action. I wager $500 that Sinead kills herself within one year. Any thoughts?
* * *
From: Ana
Subject: Re: Sinead Suicide Attempt
If you're being serious, then you are truly a cold, insensitive asshole (I hope that won't get censored!) and what are you doing on this list anyway? If you're "joking" then you've got a SICK sense of humor and I'm sure no one on this list appreciates it! I shouldn't even be validating your comment with a response!
* * *
From: Gustavo
Subject: offensive comment, dark fun
Ok everyone. I was also shocked when read that lines. I thought, must be wroten (sp?) by some stupid. Then I read it again, and I must recognized that also made me laugh. A lot. Of course, it was not very smart, but really fun. She's a woman. (they're stronger than us) (and... how much I love women... God... Men too...but women...) Come on, we must laugh a little bit more. Who wrote it sure was not trying to offend or create a fight. Just a comment with a great and dark sense of humour. And I'm sure everyone here "focus our positive energies in Sinead's direction". CARPE DIEM.
* * *
Okay, I know that maybe something was lost in the translation of your poor English, but what the fuck are you talking about? The original comment wasn't funny or dark, just stupid. And furthermore, don't tell me to carpe diem! Carpe diem yourself.
* * *
From: Christiane
Subject: Re: Sinead Suicide Attempt
No matter how much I love Sinéad and no matter how stupid I thought your previous mail was, in this case I agree with you! Ok, she may be in bounds of losing custody (would be a reason for that? The court always tend to stay beside the mothers) but killing herself would be a selfish act. If she loves the daugther so much, no matter how down she is, she'd want to support her own pain to prevent her son and her daugther from the pain of not having a mother. I feel pretty down sometimes and many a times the idea of "that would be so better if I just died" cross my mind. However, I have a niece who pratically lives in my house and with her parents away the whole day, I became her mother. I support all the pain cos if I go she'll be so miserable. The feeling of hurting someone I love so much is worse than any pain in the world.
Either the news is not true, or Sinéad is simply trying to call attention (she tried suicide w/Valium and vodka once, she should know the correct dosage by now) or she's indeed an unfit mother.
If she died, I'd regret. She's a great singer/writer but please, people, stop to think before saying "what'll I'd do with my life?". As long as she's no personal acquaintance and all the contact comes form the albums (which won't disappear if she goes), nothing in your lives will REALLY change.
* * *
Too right! Finally, someone who has something smart to say about the subject; albeit a little too much info, hon, about your own death wish. But it is true — all that we really have invested in our star is our money. If she goes, we're really not losing out anything. We've spent our time and energy collecting her music, but in the end it's only what she creates that we can have.
* * *
From: Wayne
Subject: Re: Suicide Attempt
I'm so disappointed in Sinead. I don't care how depressed and down a person is, there is no excuse for suicide — especially if you're a mother of two children. But I'm even more disapponted with the comments thus far from some of the members of this list. I know we don't know her personally, but after listening to her music and having it touch us, she IS a part of us all and I would feel VERY sad if she died. If anyone on this list plans to make any more insensitive remarks on this issue, please let me know in the subject line so I can delete your message in advance.
* * *
Yeah Wayne, I'll get right on that. Whatever. Is it just me, or do the people who write messages like this have no other emotional life? Do they really think that Sinead IS part of them? The whole thing is creeping me out. I'm beginning to feel that just being on the list is a disservice to my own integrity as a music fan. And now I've been sucked into this vortex of parasitic bloodsucking. It's not only put me off the other listees, but — in a way — off Sinead herself. If I knew anyone in my own reality who was behaving so poorly and selfishly, I'd dump them. So why am I compelled to stay, listen, collect, and read?
* * *
From: Holli
Subject: I've lived through this....
This has been very painful for me on a very personal level. My mother OD'd a lot of times, she would flatline right in front of me. Her thinking was that us children and my father would be better off without her in our lives. She felt she was causing us to much pain. I've met Sinead as many of you know and talked with her very personally about our mothers and the effects of abuse. She slipped and fell. All of us fall sometimes. Sinead is not a bad person because she hurts.
I hope this helps some, one, any of you....
* * *
Nobody likes a braggart. This is turning into Jerry Springer with empathy. Blech!
* * *
From: DJO
Subject: Re: Suicide Attempt
Well, it is nice to know we have so many psychologists here on JITR. Plus a whole gaggle of people who are ready to pass judgement based on what minute detail they have gotten about the situation from a few articles in the press. Listen to her music, appreciate her art, read about her life if you want, but as far as her personal situation goes... SHUT UP!!
* * *
I couldn't have put it better!
* * *
From: Enz"
Subject: Chiquitita/Sinead
To be sung to the tune of "Chiquitita"...

Sinéad, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it, I know
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Sinéad, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on

Sinéad, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Sinéad, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Sinéad
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Sinéad
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Sinéad

* * *
Oh God!
* * *
From: Dark
Subject: Re: Chiquitita/Sinéad
Enzo, this is beautiful!! I bet Sinead would love this, could she hear it being sung to her.
* * *
Once again, Oh God!
* * *
From: kai chai
Subject: Re: What's up?
Is there any way we could send a letter (communally "signed" by all of us) to her directly to lend our support? Sinead would really need whatever support she can get at this moment....
* * *
You want to write a personal letter to Sinead, signed by fans who have wished that she do nothing but perpetuate her depression and tragedy for the sake of music? Fans who have suckled at her suicide attempt in ways to make their own lives seem as feeble and as painful so they could "relate" to her? You want us to write and sign a letter of support to a woman whose actions are at once stupid, selfish, and self-righteous? No — absolutely not!
* * *
From: Ossi
Subject: Supporting Sinead
That's a good idea!! But what if we'd use her own method and send our writing to Irish Times or some other newspaper that she's known to read? After all we are just a bunch of fans (who don't even know her address...). Crazy idea perhaps, but I think she would like it...
* * *
The following e-mail was the last I would ever see on the list. It was too much. Too obsequious, too touching, too sentimental, too everything I hated about the last few months on the list. So I quit. I unsubscribed. I didn't respect the other people who called themselves her "fans." I realized I was stuck in the rut of collecting Sinead only because I had always collected Sinead. The reality was that I wasn't enjoying her anymore. And I guess that's what pop music should really be about as far as I'm concerned. Pure enjoyment, not this shit. If you want action and drama in your life you have to create it yourself. If you're using your obsession to create a life for yourself, well... how much of a life do you really have?
* * *
From: Gustavo
Subject: THE LETTER TO SINEAD
Dear navy blue bird,
We can say a lot of things just like how much we admire and love you and your art, that great gift you've been giving us, but this is not for what we are writing to you. We think you sure know all of that... How somewhere, in everyone's night there's a sweet ray of light that comes from your eyes and touches our deepest emotions. And there, we speak to you, telling you that we are flying at your side, listening to your unique voice always whispering us, fulfilling us of a mother's joy. You know all about that.
We are now here to tell you that we're by your side more than ever before, to face what is coming, and so, together, we'll create the good things that will make a better future, in everyone's country, in everyone's night, we'll still be the light that will take all our pain away. Because you tought us this, because you make us better people... for all this, Sinead, for your ongoing effort in transmutation of suffering into art, into light, we believe in you.
See you there....
* * *
Oh, go jump in the river.