But first, some tips:
1. Never give an inflatable gift deflated! This can only result in confusion, as the giftee pulls shapeless plastic from a package and murmurs, "Ooh, thanks: a body condom!"
2. Never use staples when gift-wrapping an inflatable.
3. What's better than one inflatable? Two inflatables, of course!
Okay, now you're ready to shop. Here are a few inflatable gift suggestions to get you started!
BOUNCY FUN ROOM
You've seen them at carnivals -- now make one your own! This well-padded Fun Room can be installed easily in your backyard or local 7-11 parking lot, providing hours of shoeless fun for your loved ones or your crazy aunt. Available themes include the Fantasy Castle, Dinosaur Delight, and Spaceship Fun!
Prices range from $3,295 to $5,500. Call 1-888-5-INFLATE.
GIANT INFLATABLE MASCOTS
Imagine directing your child's eyes out the window on Christmas morning, where he or she will meet the kindly gaze of a giant 30-foot purple ape! Such cuddly creatures, normally seen hovering above highway-side car lots, can be a part of your family for only $115 a day! Illuminated to glow brightly at night.
Big Sky Balloons & Searchlights, Inc. 1-800-769-8000.
Nothing says "I love you" like a giant helium-filled dirigible hovering over your home. Available with personalized message board, tether line banner, or camera surveillance system -- your choice!
A basic 30-foot unit runs $3,175 at blimpguys.com.
The inflatable Emperor dildo ($59) promises eight rigid inches of air-filled satisfaction, set on a suction-cup base. To catch even more air, the giant Jumbo inflatable latex dildo ($75) grows to 12 inches, and is as thick as a sailor's forearm. It's a blinding white Christmas, baby.