When it comes to holiday gifts, size matters. The happy hand reaches for the largest package under the tree. So be the most generous gift giver -- give the gift that keeps on growing: Inflatables! Inflatables not only give you more bulk for your buck, they are also the most personal of gifts. The recipient knows your lips touched the latex skin of your purchase, and your own hard-won air went into it. What could be better?

But first, some tips:

1. Never give an inflatable gift deflated! This can only result in confusion, as the giftee pulls shapeless plastic from a package and murmurs, "Ooh, thanks: a body condom!"

2. Never use staples when gift-wrapping an inflatable.

3. What's better than one inflatable? Two inflatables, of course!

Okay, now you're ready to shop. Here are a few inflatable gift suggestions to get you started!


You've seen them at carnivals -- now make one your own! This well-padded Fun Room can be installed easily in your backyard or local 7-11 parking lot, providing hours of shoeless fun for your loved ones or your crazy aunt. Available themes include the Fantasy Castle, Dinosaur Delight, and Spaceship Fun!

Prices range from $3,295 to $5,500. Call 1-888-5-INFLATE.


Imagine directing your child's eyes out the window on Christmas morning, where he or she will meet the kindly gaze of a giant 30-foot purple ape! Such cuddly creatures, normally seen hovering above highway-side car lots, can be a part of your family for only $115 a day! Illuminated to glow brightly at night.

Big Sky Balloons & Searchlights, Inc. 1-800-769-8000.


Nothing says "I love you" like a giant helium-filled dirigible hovering over your home. Available with personalized message board, tether line banner, or camera surveillance system -- your choice!

A basic 30-foot unit runs $3,175 at blimpguys.com.


The inflatable Emperor dildo ($59) promises eight rigid inches of air-filled satisfaction, set on a suction-cup base. To catch even more air, the giant Jumbo inflatable latex dildo ($75) grows to 12 inches, and is as thick as a sailor's forearm. It's a blinding white Christmas, baby.

The Emperor can be purchased from http://freenetinc.com/flateemp.html, while the Jumbo is available from www.mbpro.com/dildo/inflatables.html.