Sports Beat: Indians 1, Whales Zip

IT WAS A CONTEST 70 years in the making, but the Makah Indians finally did it, defeating the Pacific Ocean Whales, 1-0. However, if you're to believe the word of star Makah crew member Darrell Markishtum, the whale was "blubber" in their hands. "It was easy," he said, happily needling the defeated Whales, before teammates doused him with Gatorade. "The whale gave up its life for us freely. He didn't fight." A rather cavalier attitude considering that in their last two attempts, the Makahs went back to their reservation empty-handed.

But win they did--and to what do the Makahs owe their success? Though tribe captain Wayne Johnson calls it a "team effort," it's hard to ignore the efforts of the game's MVP, Theron "Spear-O" Parker. The first-year harpooner, drafted as a freshman from WSU, was first to score with an amazing stern-side toss into the whale's spine. The B-team was then called off the bench to finish the job by twice firing a high-powered rifle into their opponent, leaving her to roll over in a pool of her own blood.

The taste of defeat didn't go down well with the Whales, who have gone 70 years undefeated. "I didn't even know we were playing," said one humpback, who refused to be identified. As many as four rematches are likely this season. This embarrassing outing puts the Whales one game down in the series--a rather "sticky" start for a club with an undeniable home-field advantage.