Full disclosure: Two years ago I was so intensely enamored with OutKast’s Andre 3000 that I carved his face into a pumpkin at Halloween. Afro and all. Manned with that slightly embarrassing nugget of my personal history, you should be fully trusting in my opinion of Idlewild, which stars our crush-worthy Andre Benjamin (swoon!) and his cohort Big Boi, and was written and directed by celebrated hiphop video director Bryan Barber (he’s done all the big OutKast videos).

If this movie is worth falling in love with, you know I’d love the fuck out of it.

But it isn’t. And I don’t.

It stars OutKast, so the musical numbers are, of course, enjoyable, but there’s also no denying that it’s simply this generation’s Moonwalker jazzed up with a little bit of Baz Luhrmann–circa–MoulinRouge! attitude.

Through the entire film (which tells the story of a fast-paced love affair that blooms in a Georgia speakeasy in the 1930s) it’s apparent that the actors aren’t actors at all. They’re musicians, well-choreographed dancers, and models—all flexing a new and slightly awkward muscle. The performances between the musical numbers are about as well done as those in Thriller; and the story it tells—the love between shy piano player/mortician Percival and up and coming singer Angel—is only slightly more touching than Guns N’ Roses’ over-the-top “November Rain” video.

All of that might sound kind of harsh (okay, very harsh) but know that I love all of those things (even the G N’ R video).

So don’t go see Idlewild to be swept off your feet, because you won’t be. Go see Idlewild to confirm suspicions that Andre 3000 is one of the hottest men on the planet, Big Boi is one of the best songwriters in hiphop, and Bryan Barber is one of the greatest modern music-video directors, even in this case, when the video is an hour and a half long.