Look, what you see is what you get, okay? Rutger Hauer plays a hobo (you can tell he’s a hobo because he rides the rails and carries a bindle). He uses a shotgun at various points in the movie. There’s vengeance, and a lot of blood and gore. The whole movie is based on a fake exploitation movie trailer, and it shows: It’s a collection of moments, strung together into something resembling a movie.

And it’s fine. It’s fine! There’s a lot of stupidity to laugh at, and most of it is intentional. There are plenty of cheap exploitation thrills. Hauer, as always, is great. But is it the greatest hobo movie ever? No. That’s still Lee Marvin’s Emperor of the North. And will you remember anything about the movie about an hour after watching it? No, probably not. It’s like opening a series of shiny, gorgeously wrapped boxes to find an “I’m with stupid” T-shirt tucked inside the 37th box. Was the lame joke really worth all this effort? Probably not. But points for commitment, I guess.