Central Cinema
1411 21st Avenue(at Union Street)
www.central-cinema.com

Know this, Grasshopper
Even Jerry Bruckheimer
Sucks less with some booze
-Ancient Haiku

As often happens, the scheme was initially hatched in the dark with the help of a few drinks. Kevin and Kate Spitzer were sharing grilled ahi tuna and a pitcher of beer while catching a showing of The Exorcist at The Mission, one of the funkier editions of Portland's hallowed string of combo movie theater/pubs. "Why doesn't Seattle have one of these?" one or the other sensibly wondered. And, lo, as Linda Blair coughed up her pea soup, the beginning germ of the Central Cinema was born.

Now their dream project nears the final stages of all-systems-go completion, thanks to a root-worthy combination of pie-eyed film fan and realistic business sense. Still, at a time when an average yahoo can spend money at Best Buy and bring home a decent approximation of the multiplex experience, opening up a largely self-funded eclectic movie house takes a large measure of both courage and chutzpah. To strap on a full-service upward-scaled kitchen and plunk the whole shebang down in the middle of the Central District... well, that requires something several degrees bigger.

"Before we opened, people walking by thought we were building a porno theater," Kevin confesses with a laugh. To be honest, from the outside, the Central Cinema still has a hint of the imposingly industrial, with only a snazzy marquee and a friendly dog snoozing on the porch softening the vibe. Located on a residential street at 21st Avenue and Union Street, the casual passerby can be forgiven a brief stint of what's-wrong-with-this-picture disorientation.

The industrial feel can be explained, however, as, until recently, it actually was. Three and a half years ago, Kevin, an ornamental sculpture artist specializing in concrete and metal, moved his studio from its West Seattle location in order to be closer to his and his wife's home in the CD. Facing a large amount of overhead, and tiring of the increasingly mundane welding projects required to keep things in the black, Kevin and Kate began to blow off steam by hosting movie nights for friends and neighbors in the back room. When they discovered that people would willingly maneuver past the forklift and sit on folding chairs to watch the likes of Chuck Heston as The Omega Man, the wheels of full-tilt expansion began to turn.

Beginning last summer, after a visit to the mortgage officer and contributions from several friendly investors, the pair began the arduous task of converting the entire workspace into their ideal neighborhood veg-out, pig-out, and all-around hangout. Pitfalls along the way included jumping through the mounds of paperwork and the arcane hoops of the state liquor board (five entrée items, at minimum, all heated, all able to be eaten with a knife and fork), along with numerous small technical glitches. The final interior results belie the exterior, with a cozy bistro area up front, and a 120-seat digital theater in the back. Said screening area proves to be serious business, with twice the required space for wheelchair seating, and a comfortable looking assortment of family friendly benches and adults-only chairs. The latticework separating the rows and holding up the projector attests to Kevin's past creative history with a blowtorch.

The menu certainly doesn't want for ambition, with the ample microbrew and wine list countering the likes of rhubarb pie, Ethiopian coffee, and radish sandwiches. (Even more veggie options are promised in the future.) For the traditionalist, there's also pizza and/or popcorn, with or without the curry powder. Generally, food is available during the first hour of every screening, with the option to run a tab. As Portland expatriates can attest, as far as life-altering experiences go, having a waiter bring out another pitcher in the middle of an onscreen car chase is waaaay up there.

On the programming front, first-run movies are out, due mostly to excessive studio mandates. (Hearing a list of the demands that George Lucas imposes on theater owners is enough to squander whatever goodwill Episode III managed to bring back.) Second-run features, AKA the bread and butter of the Portland brew theaters, are somewhat more likely in the future. For the moment, however, the Spitzers seem more than jazzed to show whatever personally floats their boat, be it Wong Kar-Wai's achingly romantic Chungking Express, an upcoming Steve McQueen tough-guy marathon (for which the menu's otherwise oddball inclusion of Miller High Life seems designed), a regular gay- and lesbian-oriented series, and even animation shorts from the local high school. Listening to the duo (trio, actually, counting their infant son) discuss the possibilities for upcoming themed menu specials, recount choice lines from a previous Marilyn Monroe sing-along, or point out the future installation of a neon chandelier, it's hard not to get swept up in the sheer Andy Hardy let's-put-on-a-show enthusiasm of it all.

Similarly themed ventures have crashed and burned in the past, of course, but at least at first glance these owners seem more than willing to accept the occasional financial downturn and go the distance. Positing a fledgling establishment as the potential nexus of a community can be a heavy burden, particularly for a place that still has Duracrete drying on the outside walls-but then there's this: Before opening for the night, Kate tells a story about how, a few weeks back, the pair went looking for somewhere low-key to grab something to eat, hang out, and talk. Before long, they realized that they themselves owned the only place within walking distance that fit the bill. Consider this as well: Early in my tour, a couple of women waiting for the bus successfully wheedle their way past the locked door in order to use the restroom. Grabbing a menu on the way out, they promise to come back that night to catch the showing of the modern chopsocky classic Iron Monkey. And they honestly, sincerely, sounded like they would. ■