Snatch
dir. Guy Ritchie
Opens Fri Jan 19 at Meridian 16 and Metro.

BRAD PITT SURE is one sexy fella. I mean it... meow! If I were gay--WHICH I AM NOT--I could certainly go for such a hunky lad like him. He's no Jude Law, but then again, who is? Jude Law is a sexy, sexy guy. Brad Pitt is really more of a hunky, hunky guy. Together they would make a sexy/hunky superhero team to thwart evil in multiplexes across the country. Now that's what I call entertainment!

NO I AM NOT GAY!

And I don't look like Brad Pitt, even though my name is also Brad, and I too have a lot of tattoos, just like his character in Snatch. Chicks dig tattoos.

Snatch was directed by that Guy Ritchie guy, the one who knocked up Madonna and then married her, forever labeling her first daughter a bastard. It's basically a remake of his first movie, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, but with a bigger budget and a couple of well-known actors like Benicio Del Toro and that one guy who used to be on that TV show Crime Story way back when. Crime Story... now there was a show! Like Miami Vice, only in the '50s (or was it the early '60s?).

I remember reading that after he saw a screening of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels in London, Tom Cruise leapt to his feet and screamed, "This movie rocks!" I'm sure he'll probably scream the same thing about Snatch. I thought it was funny and well made, if kind of rambling and pointless and smartass, and the people at the screening seemed to like it. So there you go. If you liked Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, you're gonna like Snatch. If you didn't, well, Brad Pitt is pretty funny (and let's not forget hunky!), so maybe it's worth a matinee or something. I dunno, it's not my call. But be warned! It's filled with nothing but limeys, except for Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro, and that one guy from Crime Story. Other than that, pure limey-time.

Stupid, unhunky limeys....

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