The next time you walk onto the street from between two parked cars, I'll be watching for that look of realization on your face, as I brake just a few seconds too late. I will howl in jubilation as I hear your skull slam against my hood. Try and stop me from giggling like a schoolgirl when I feel my car lift--not once, but twice--as I crush and grind my way over your twisted corpse.
"Oh my god," I will repeat over and over in faux shock and horror. Unable to hold back the grief, I will break down just as the first cop arrives at the scene.
"This all feels like a dream," I'll say as the cops take me home wrapped in a blanket. As they drive away, I'll do the "happy dance" all through the night, knowing I've done my part for natural selection. You're welcome, humanity.
--Anonymous
