To the couple riding the intercity bus on 4/20: Thanks to the male half for giving your standing, very pregnant girlfriend a through-the-pants handjob (complete with light ass-spanking) while the bus was in motion. It wasn't awkward or anything because it was just me and you two riding the bus during the middle of the afternoon. The thoroughness with which you picked her wedgie out through her leggings afterward was a nice touch! It was 4/20, but no amount of dank nugs could ever have gotten me high enough to deal with you weirdos.

—Anonymous