You are so stupid.
You are a hospitality professional, working in bars and restaurants almost full-time. And you don't suck—you have great banter, you make great cocktails, you're fun at parties. You also walk out on bar tabs.
This causes problems, you know, because those drinks you didn't pay for aren't free. Your industry colleagues bought them with their tip money so their tills aren't short, and they lose their jobs because you, an industry professional who should fucking know better, make a habit of walking out on bar tabs.
And it happens a lot. How many times have you used the "I'm going out for a smoke" or the "I thought those guys next to me were buying" excuses in the last two years? Five times, 10 times, more? It's only a matter of time until no one cares what the fuck you have to say, no one wants to drink your cocktails, and no one wants to party with you.
The only part of this story that is slightly hilarious is that there are former and current hospitality workers who are reading this right now and thinking, "I totally know exactly who this is."
Don't shit where you eat. You are so stupid.